this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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simpsonsshitposting

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I just think they're neat!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Soooo….why not more than 10 minutes?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Hemorrhoids.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Deep vein thrombosis?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

The hole pulls your cheeks apart and puts pressure on the roids

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

The toilet might hatch.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Your butt explode

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What if you're really constipated?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I have struggled with constipation my whole life.

For most people, including me, constipation is caused by dehydration. I'm still working on increasing my water intake, but in the meantime:

  1. If cannot poop, get off the toilet.
  2. Go chug a couple glasses of water.
  3. Pop some squats. Hold low position for a few seconds.
  4. Try pooping again when it feels right.

Putting your pants back on for this process is optional.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

and Water

Big glass. Small normal water glasses aren't built for fat men. You'd have to fill it 20 times.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Love when someone in a semi stressful appointment asks if you want water, and then they give you this teensy itsy bitsy thimble ass glass and you have to put all you focus into not making a weird impression by drinking that in one gulp, because if anything, it's less than your usual gulp size

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, I have 3 1 litre bottles in the fridge I rotate though. Usually a gulp involves 200-500ml

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

okay no that is not normal, pretty sure a gulp is supposed to be about a deciliter, so 100ml.
if one "gulp" is 500ml you're not drinking, you're chugging, and that means you're swallowing a massive amount of air and bypassing a bunch of sensory feedback that is important to regulate your intake, the water (and food for that matter) should be spending some time in the mouth and throat.

like, when you've had enough water it should become difficult to swallow, when the water reaches the back of the mouth things just reflexively close up and trying to swallow feels gross

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Those plastic cups I always find at water fountains are nearly indistinguishable to shotglasses for me. It really is just less than one mouthful. Whenever I've used one without having a bottle with me, I've tended to drink two glasses before leaving with the 3rd.