this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I didn't think he would really do it.

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Cus its funni

[–] detun3d@lemm.ee 3 points 4 weeks ago

If he had anything to do with it he probably heated the discussion and yelled at him like a spoiled brat.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
  • Just
  • Die
  • Vatican
  • Asshole
  • Now
  • Cum
  • Expeditiously
[–] obvs@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

JD Vance was the thing that made the Pope finally give up on humanity.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz -1 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

It's a joke.

A rather bad joke, imho. I think "when they go low, we go high" is a good ideal. ... however you want to interpret that phrase.

[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

He killed the pope then a couple days later started up a Muslim terror attack on Hindus so all the worlds major religions are at war

[–] lack@lemmy.world 14 points 4 weeks ago

One thing I've learned is never try to beat a couch fucker at his own game

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Homie has a problem with decency and people following the word of Jesus, despite publicly saying he is a Christian.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

not just christian. catholic.

in any other age, any other pope, he'd have been excommunicated and maybe put to the auto de fe.

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 25 points 4 weeks ago

The pope didn’t thank him

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 4 weeks ago

the vatican couch was plush

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 21 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Obviously Vance wanted to fuck the Papal seat. The pope tried to explain that he couldn't just let Vance fuck the chair of St Peter. Vance did not like this answer.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 2 points 4 weeks ago

He slew two white whales in the same building!

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If JD Vance was actually the antichrist/satan it's super funny we greeted his arrival by calling him a couch fucker.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

I wonder what couch fucker is in Latin... might make a great shirt

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I asked ChatGPT to explain why JD Vance would kill the pope and it cited articles at me to tell me that JD Vance did not, in fact, kill the pope. I even tried to get it to doubt itself and it doubled down. If I have to live in slop world, I should at least be able to have fun with it :(

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 4 weeks ago

Interesting, no slop against big brother.

[–] cj2127@lemm.ee 19 points 4 weeks ago

He probably didn't even do it on purpose. But I'm sure he did it.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Obviously he was hoping to take his powers.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

Rearrange the letters in J.D. Vance and you get VADJECAN

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Probably sitting on a couch he found really attractive and got jealous.

[–] FrankFrankson@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The Pope had this really hot couch and JD fell in love with it at first sight. JD asked the couches father (the Pope) for the couches hand in marriage. The Pope, thinking this was a strange joke, laughed at JD's request. This filled JD with rage so he slit the popes thoat and began fucking the hot sofa.

As he bled out the pope was forced to watch the repeated violent defloration of his favorite piece of furniture.

[–] Auli@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

I mean I don't think I know Vance killed him. See Trump can make stuff up why can't we.

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