this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 week ago (5 children)

"But I can't wear a condom! My penis is so huge it feels constricted! You don't understand!"
Mate, your dick is not too big for a condom. Stop being an idiot.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

It's like a 2 litre bottle, because of all the swelling from stds

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The only thing I remember from health class was the teacher putting her whole arm in a condom.

Which is shocking given how anti-sexhealth my parents were and the community I grew up in at large. No idea how that teacher had a job but damn, respect.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I kinda hate that kind of demonstration because arms have bones, dicks do not, so it's not really a valid one. They're basically blood balloons and condom size actually does matter to them working. There is such a thing as too small (or too large)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Seriously, it does way more harm than good giving the impression that condoms are a one-size-fits-all thing. An uneducated guy could buy a box, use the whole package getting soft every time because his dick is getting put in a mild sleeper hold, and come to the conclusion that he can't have sex with a condom.

Proper health education for boys and young men should include talking about "finding the condom that works for you." Women don't usually do one set of birth control and just go with it forever no matter how shitty it is, they try different things until they find one that works, sucks the least, or find an alternative. They don't just try a pill, have side effects, and give up on the idea of birth control because some ignorant teacher suggested that all birth control is the same because (makes some inane demonstration).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I have to special order mine internationally and wait weeks because the ones locally simply don't work for me, but I still wear 'em

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Same issue, my brother... Khm... Khm... same issue, totally...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yeah my penis is really big too, totally - I have to do this too. cough

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

It is both a blessing and a curse, I'll just say that

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They make large condoms. I'm blessed enough that I have to use large and even with that it was constricting enough that I usually couldn't cum with one on. I still ALWAYS wore a condom until I got engaged to my wife. I understand that the benefits outweigh the risks.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Random story that is mostly not related here but I wanna tell it so I'm going to.

I almost can't get off when having sex. Like, it's a chore and it fucking sucks to try. Even without a condom it's just not happening.

I hook up with this lady, she says guys finish really fast with her and I'm like, well, that's not going to happen here.

With a condom on I turn into a 4 pump chump. This lady was not super hot or anything. But damn.

Outside of a few years after starting to have sex, I've never had thst experience before or since. I always wonder what made the difference.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Her kegels could probably crack walnuts. You're lucky you walked away with your dick still attached.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Would have been worth it!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For me, it wasn't the constriction, it was that lowered sensitivity. There are thin ones and there are magnums. I need the mags, which I haven't seen with a thin option (though I haven't bought condoms in years and maybe that'd be an option now). I'm glad to be beyond that mess.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I had some luck with Kimono MicroThin XLs.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Did measure your condom size?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Even if it was, condoms come in sizes.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I need a fitting room

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Amazing how anons manage to fuck up every social situation even if they are nominally successful at something

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

maybe managing to achieve something will turn your name into a successful brand, a graduation from anon if you will

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

elon is that you?

i heard 4chan is kill

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