Holy shit! This appears to be real and as funny as it seems.
Bot started offering absolution and such.
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
1070 points (99.0% liked)
Microblog Memes
7427 readers
2440 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Yeah they don't put him in the uniform anymore lol
it's what believers crave! it's got electrolytes!
You got me to laugh, updoot
You can literally do it with spit.... And that's not a hypothetical. You can do it with any fluid if necessary... How is this controversial?
Because not all dogma can be easily explained or defended so it is easier to hunt the messenger. Compare to evangelicals and how much they roar against some things in the old covenant as sins while still using cloth made of mixed materials, eat bacon or refuse to kill their kids if they are not respectful enough.
There is nothing in consumption Ra has forbidden Yu-gi-ok for the masses and movie theatres and coitus are the devil.
Idiocracy 2, where the dumbest priest ever is sent into the future to save Catholicism.
Someone get Mike Judge on the phone
Sippin on the haterade as usual.
its not?
wow they weren't kidding about civ7
I mean, I'm not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.
Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn't even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.
This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.
Uh, skeet skeet "enjoy salvation"
They've got holy water and holy wine. Why not holy beer.
"This is my piss, drink of it and be holy"
I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless "true water", which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).
So is tap water okay, or only where it isn't fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?
It needs to be demineralized and deionized to be able to accept god and become holy. God is quite picky
Bartender: "Sorry, dude, you've had quite a few drinks, I have to cut you off, only water for you from now on."
Jesus: "Dammit... "
Sam and Dean using Holy Church flavoured Gatorade to defeat evil, then drinking the rest to recover their lost electrolytes...
I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid
Somehow, I imagine it similar to this
That usually results in promotion
Drink of the Riptide Rush, and be healed!
view more: next ›