Probably the only good April Fool's joke I saw anywhere this year. Stuff is bleak.
this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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Lossy social security encoding.
Eh, nobody will care about some bits being lost there, I'm sure
Excellente!! Soon my 64kbps mp3 file from FrostWire can be converted to 320 kbps with 96kbps quality!
If it's 8086 or Z80 I can help!
I'm sure there's no way this could go catastrophically wrong and that my SSDI income will be fine.
Finally, something I can get behind.
Checks calendar
Well, shit.
I unironically would rather FFmpeg be in charge of, well, anything instead of Musk.
FFmpreg would be even better.
FFmpeg crashes: unfortunate
SpaceX crashes: dangerous
Government helplines about to get 1000% more hostile and standoffish.
Male Pregnancy?
Final Fantasy Mpreg
64k scene but with suits.
Not sure if I get the joke, is FFmpeg considered slow? That's the only angle I can think of for the joke to work... am I missing something?
I should add that the FFmpeg team is quite proud of the fact that they write in C and Assembly for peak performance. They mention it a lot, and so they did here.
DOGE said they're going to rewrite the existing SSA code, which is done in COBOL, to modernize it, and everyone is pointing out how fraught with peril that is. This is saying they're going to do it in assembly, which is what we do when we need highly efficient code, like for a resource-constrained real-time control system, but is also much more challenging to program. The chance of rewriting a giant COBOL application in Assembly, and not making a whole mess of errors, is really small. And it would be very hard to maintain.
Just get the guy that made rollercoaster Tycoon in Assembly, he'll knock it over in a week.
Also assembly is even older than COBOL.
Assembly isnt a single language though. I could write assembly for riscv or a recent arm ISA and that would be quite new.
I wondered if maybe "assembly" gets used to mean x86 but apparently thats a bunch newer than COBOL so I dont think Im being pedantic :)
I’m unsure if this is also an April fools joke
Assembly is a way of writing machine code, but with words and hexideci numbers instead of 1s and 0s and comments/white space, it's barely a language, from the 40s.
COBOL is a compiled language from the 60s. The compiler turns the somewhat human-readable code into assembly the computer can read.
it's barely a language
Maybe barely, but I imagine most assembly variants have conveniences like labels for jumps, labels for referencing data included in the executable, and at least some also have things like simple macros or calculating mathematical expressions at compiletime.
In broad terms it's true, though there are some variants of assembly that are newer than COBOL.
Assembly language is one step above machine code, and was the first large step toward a world where people write server-side code in Javascript.
It's a genuine xeet(?).
*xit.
Man let's just stick to tweet. This whole x thing is too silly even for April fools.
I believe you’re overthinking it. The only relation to the project is likely that they have assembly language developers on the team to help implement accelerated format conversions.
They should rewrite it in Rust.
Until goobleblobble comes out, then we have to rewrite in that. And so on, until the end of time.
I vote for gobblebobble!
It's not memory safe.
What was the language again?
Jk! Unless...
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