this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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63
Was going through the modlog this morning and...same energy. (dubvee.org)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
22 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

He's not dead but probably isn't coming back, either. If he does, he better have a second stomach full of latinum.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What the hell happened? .... I thought FlyingSquid was OK ... I had lots of run-ins with them and every time I saw them as being pretty OK .. opinionated and prolific but also pretty liberal and open minded on many things. I know that not everyone will agree with everything all the time, that is just human nature ... we can't all be OK with one another on everything on all issues, all the time.

I also know they had moved to the UK from the US a while ago and that caused a lot of stress and strain ... I also notice that many people everywhere are under a lot of stress and strain because of world politics and the way the world is leaning these days, it's not good and it shows in the personalities and presentations of everyone everywhere. The only saving grace to all that is in being in small communities like this where people are free to talk and share their thoughts and feelings in the spirit of openness, inclusion and equality for everyone no matter their background or situation.

So what happened? ... it's upsetting because when vague posts like this appear, it's hard on us who are not fully clued into the community of mods and heavy posters who are plugged in with one another.

  • Are they still part of Tenforward?
  • Are they OK?
  • Is TenForward OK?
  • Are the remaining mods OK?
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

What the hell happened? .... I thought FlyingSquid was OK ... I had lots of run-ins with them and every time I saw them as being pretty OK .. opinionated and prolific but also pretty liberal and open minded on many things. I know that not everyone will agree with everything all the time, that is just human nature ... we can't all be OK with one another on everything on all issues, all the time.

...

So what happened? ... it's upsetting because when vague posts like this appear, it's hard on us who are not fully clued into the community of mods and heavy posters who are plugged in with one another.

I'm not 100% read in on the story, and I've only heard authoritatively that he has quit Lemmy. I didn't mean to be vague, but also, I didn't want to disclose anything I may not be good to disclose (especially when I don't have a firsthand account of the full story). Basically, I don't want to spread / start any rumors.

I'm stating this all as an outside observer, but yeah, definitely opinionated and like you said, open minded on most things. Being a prolific contributor, he attracted a LOT of abuse from some real shithead accounts over the last few years. I've seen many of those accounts twist his words around, put words in his mouth, and make accusations/name call based off of those twisted and out-of-context quotes. For better or worse, Squid often didn't know when to quit / just hit the block button. He was also the target of a few particular trolls (as were I and Jordan Lund, so he had a support group for that lol; those were more hilarious than traumatizing though)

I can only speak for myself in this regard, but stress like that is definitely cumulative. I have thought about leaving many times myself, but have instead block/banned my way to mental health. Perhaps he'll come back some day, perhaps not.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

have instead block/banned my way to mental health

It really is a social media super power. Normal social media uses algorithms to keep us in our safe spaces. Lemmy is far more open, and thus more prone to upset people who can't walk away.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That's sad to hear, especially when it involves good people .... from what I saw and experienced Squid is good people. But I do know what being online too much does to a person's mental health. When I first jumped on the Reddit bandwagon years ago, I got hooked to the anonymous nature of being able to connect, chat and engage with people on a regular basis. The whole system is also designed around negativity, anger, fear and anxiety ... so if you stay online and engaged long and often enough, you'll eventually get fished into conversations and discussions about so many stupid inconsequential things that it will drive you into a black hole. You also get attached to people and personalities over time and you also begin to attract bad actors .... but it is all by design to keep everyone engaged, commenting, posting, reposting, attacking, defending, reattacking, double dealing, back stabbing and egging people on to send one more message, one more stab, one more point, one more comment. On corporate social media, the negativity is designed to keep everyone engaged ... I find on the Fediverse that the negativity is designed to just drive people away.

I take my time with this stuff now ... I engage but I don't engage with bad actors .. ever .. and when I do find good people, I do my best to treat everyone kindly, openly as possible. I trend lightly because some people are moving so fast and so much that it's hard to see where anyone is coming from or going.

It's a warning and a caution for the rest of us. We have to take time for ourselves from this digital world. It isn't healthy to beat off trolls all day long or to try to find the next meme to share all the time. I enjoy all the work you and the mods do and I appreciate everything you do but at the same time, I'd rather see everyone manage their mental health first than to see another digital friend fall into the abyss.

Take care my friend and all the best to you and mods ....

and all the best to @[email protected] - may that wild cephalopod keep flying high - they're good people and wherever they are I hope they are happy and well.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry I’m still new here, I can’t decode this meme. One of the mods is no longer active?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Flying squid was an extremely prolific poster in many communities.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ahh gotcha thanks for explaining, I’m sure I saw their posts in my feed then.

Fare thee well internet stranger 🍻

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Peace, friend!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Always got on with him well. I hope everything turns out fine for him and his family.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

That's the thing. Most people did. The ones who didn't seemed to go out of their way to be antagonistic. It's a shame the jerks ultimately won, but I get why he quit / stepped away.

Edit: Going to use this comment as a soapbox. If someone is constantly antagonistic, putting words in your mouth, twisting your words, and making accusations based off of that, just do yourself a favor and block them (and if it's bad enough, report them). I'm tired of seeing good people leave the platform because of harassment and trolls.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I mean, fwiw I was only debating some random point or other and he got super dickish. Like way off the point being-an-asshole. I think if you agreed with his comment it was fine, if you didn't and he chose to dig into it you were not going to get along.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m going to chalk that up to stress. I noticed that behavior occasionally in the last couple of months too, but he upended his family’s life to move to another country to try to protect his child against the fascist takeover of the US government.

That move didn’t go smoothly or as smoothly as he would have liked. It’s at least a bit understandable that he was less chill than in the past. I’m occasionally hu-mon too despite my best efforts.

I enjoyed his presence here and would be happy to see him return, but if it’s better for his mental health to unplug, then so be it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Having moved continents without family and with family once each, I can tell the second takes a heavy toll. He should unplug for a bit. You could clearly see a tipping point in his behavior once things started to get dire. I’m rooting for him and his family.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Exactly. Me too.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, i feel the same about squid. He was usually decent but sometimes he would snap and be a total dick to people. People like that shouldn't be mods imo.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Agreed on the mod part. Just because someone posts a lot in a community means that they'd be a good mod.

I didn't like him, but I hope he gets to a better place mentally, financially, and physically. No Star Trek fan should feel displaced, despair, or discouraged.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Flyingsquid, he surely made some enemies but also a lot of friends and a lasting impression, why else would we stand here at the wake.

The move from the US to the UK sure took his toll on him and his family, so I wish them all the best.

May they live long and prosper.