What exactly is wrong with those sayings? Are they racist or something?
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The southern simile
I have a pretty mild one that I've used all my life: "Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise." I said it once to the owner of the company I work for and he thought I meant I wouldn't do what he'd asked of me, and he got a little upset. I had to explain it meant the opposite. That I had to explain it to him didn't really ease the angst of the situation...
One I learned in the fleet was “…more fucked than a ten cent whore on a day raining dimes.”
My wife's old dutch grandma once had a sip of beer and said "it's like an angel pissing on my tongue"
Talking about how many children she had "your grandfather would throw his dirty undies at me and I'd get pregnant"
it's like an angel pissing on my tongue
That is an old Dutch saying, I was gonna ask if she had Dutch heritage, but than I re read your post.
Grandma sounds like she could make a pirate blush :) I wanna be just like her when I grandma