this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
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Programmer Humor

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transcriptA meme saying: "STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE"

  • Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
  • C is a LETTER, not a language
  • Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
  • "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE

Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)

  • FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
  • 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? (with a picture of compilation errors
  • A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.

IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING while(true{print(money);}

end transcript.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

What is "a 0.02%"?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

So saith corporal Ludd

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Appreciate the alt text

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Where is "they've played us for absolute fools"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let's forget that that image is created on a computer

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Thank you for your service

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Science? There's science behind the clusterfuck we call software nowadays?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yes, it's just buried under crap and and redundant copies of itself. And possibly still written in Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think it's only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn't an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do ..... On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It's not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm... I'll check the app store.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Yep, 1990-2010 was kind of the golden age for learning computers on the fly. They were too rare and inaccessible before, and they're too polished and sandboxed now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Misinterpreted, abused, generally mistreated, ignored and disrespected.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I feel like these terms apply to any non-JS dev ever.

Source: JS can suck my balls. It's an awful, chaotically evil language that has never made any sense, nor do I think it ever will.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

while 1 print money

Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I mean, the entirety of Steam's code could maybe be described as an obfuscated version of

while(true){ print(money); }

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

YouTube is just a weeeeeeeird cylinder that simply can not be filled.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Removing spinlocks on IO by using async event handling can reduce cpu usage

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I suppose that's true. And also deranged to do it on purpose

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

using threads to reduce cpu usage ? in what world ? if you can parallelize tasks you will always increase the workload done.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious "0.02%" situation in order to get the results faster

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Honestly I'm disappointed. The reasons exposed here are much too weak.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"Write it in a paper"...I'm not sure how that works but I am very curious

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Just use a printer! It’s in the name!!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

If you go back far enough, you'd be coding the ENIAC via punchcards.

... Or maybe today you could write code on paper and have an AI augmented OCR system try to run it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Write so hard out of anger that you rip the paper.

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