Ask Lemmy

I don't cook or bake often, but I love watching other people do it. I watched a video last week of a dude making "Thousand Layer Pancakes" which were layered thinly sliced potatoes. IDK how many he used, but he halfway vertically filled up a large sheet cake/lasagna pan with paper thin slices of potatoes, coated each layer with oil or butter and then baked it for like an hour or two. He said just layering the potatoes took like a half hour or so.

It looked good, but definitely not worth the effort.

No-bake cookies with Splenda instead of sugar. My wife made some and they turned out looking amazing, but had the taste of Bitrex. Absolutely foul.

Thanksgiving 2019 my wife and I decided to make an apple pie from scratch. Cook and prep time was estimated for 3h this was with us factoring in never having baked before. We decided we could start at 8 and be fine. Fast forward to 230am and we are just removing it from the oven. Next day everyone is trying it and we all agreed it was probably the best pie ever made in the family. I'll never try again because it wasn't worth all that work.

egg bites in the instant pot. The texture and flavour haunts me.

More of a cooking technique than a recipe. I wanted to make a stir fry more substantial so I added flour to it. Strongly recommend against ever doing this.

Beetroot curry. I was drunk and went with the idea that "you can curry anything"... you can't.

We followed a cake recipe once from some US food blog. We learned then that you should only use half or even one quarter of the sugar stated in recipes from Americans and even then it might be sickeningly sweet.

Moussaka I did a research project on it in high school chef training class. I made the dish, including soaking in salt and extracting the bitterness. By all accounts it was delicious for everyone except me. I had a bad reaction to the eggplant and was throwing up all night.

I stay away from that member of the nightshade family. I'll stick with potatoes and tomatoes.

Chocolate soufflé. Fuck that caved in nonsense

I mixed myself a Bloody Mary, just to find out if I like it, and I didn't like it at all.

Now I know. Never again.

Steak Ranchero. I had a version of it in a family owned Mexican restaurant that has been open for years near me. I moved away and missed it so much, I looked up how to make it online and I tried two different recipes from two different sources and they both came out tasting terrible. The first time the beef was super undercooked and chewy, and the sauce/salsa was very acidic and not very pleasant to eat. The second time the beef was still undercooked, included a bunch of ingredients that I would not have considered to be part of the actual dish (but may have been in the authentic/traditional dish) and everything came out underseasoned and didn't taste anything like how they made it at the restaurant. I was so disappointed I actually never bothered to make it again. If I really want it, I'll drive my ass to that restaurant five towns over. Or just wait until I move back there soon-ish.

Traditional ramen. I tried doing it when Covid hit and no one could go out to restaurants and I really missed ramen.

So I set out to do it. Takes two days to make. Which was ridiculous so I adapted it to be made with a slow cooker in a day so I could still enjoy it . It might not be ‘as good’ but it is way more healthier (less salt and sugar). I do that often with recipes. I’ll try the traditional way and then tweak it to be healthier cuz so many old styles are heavy on the fat, salt and sugar but also needlessly lengthy processes when we have all these new style cookers to make life easier.

Puff pastry! The constant fear the butter getting too soft, the (seeming) hours of rolling then resting in the freezer, the failure of witnessing the butter melt out in the oven was just too much for me, especially when the pre made frozen stuff is quite good.

That said, I love a challenge and have been thinking of trying it again.

Orange chicken.

It was my comfort food while studying in the US. At Panda Express it was cheap, convenient, and delicious.

Then I tried making it. And... although I could make delicious-er, it was too much work. Then I forgot how much work it was, and made it again, and I swore, never again. I don't have a proper kitchen or a fryer, and it took me about two hours of active work (if you're serving 8 people). Most other food I make is max 20 minutes, and the rest is just time passing and heat doing its thing. Even dishes that take 8 hours to prepare, is usually still only 20-30 minutes of labour.

Without the right kitchen equipment. Never again.

I might make it again soon.