Asklemmy

I used to have such fear, especially when I was younger. not just an inbox fright but also some sort of "reaction fright" meaning that I was scared a lot about people's reaction in a face-to-face conversation

I used to. Don’t give a flying shit anymore. Sometimes people agree with me, sometimes they disagree. Fuck it, whatever.

sees 1 new notification oh cool someone responded to something let's see what it is

5 notifications hmm. Well something I commented on must have hit the front page / trending

22 notifications oh god what community decided to take issue with me now... (after blocking a few instances, the amount of gif and emoji spam on my inbox has drastically reduced)

I used to on reddit back when it was a game of Reddit 50/50 if you were going to get a normal comment or gaslighting attempts from a nazi.

Man, I get excited when I get replies. Means someone thought something of my comments, be it positive or negative.

Oh yeah. Big time. Stems from a broader social anxiety, in my case.

Used to. I realized that the worst that happens is that you pissed off some dickhead who writes bad words to you. You don't get hurt or die or anything. It's just some words.

Not me.

Yes. Mostly people on Lemmy are positive, but every so often some nutsack turns up.

Maybe on a messaging platform with IRL people, but never on somewhere like Lemmy. If anything, I really enjoy seeing that number go up! 59 unreads right now (I never check the box, the only way they go is replies).

I have this with checking emails at work. I hate when I have a new email and don't know what it's about to say.

This was a thing on reddit too. Don't think that Lemmy is immune to group think or even bots intentionally farming divisiveness. If anything, the inconsistent moderation by design makes it even more susceptible.

I try to tell myself to just roll my eyes at pointlessly negative comments, throw it a downvote if I think it's not contributing anything useful, and move on. Otherwise they'll drag you to their level and beat you with experience, as it were.

At first I didn't like the fact that my Lemmy client didn't support notifications, but it turned out to be the greatest thing about it. It basically helped me cut down on social media time.

You can hide the notification icon, and check unread in https://lemmy.ml/inbox when you want to.

Ublock Origin Dashboard -> My filters, add: lemmy.ml##a[href="/inbox"].nav-link

Yep, that's me. When I still actively used reddit, I felt this with every message, was always afraid I was off the mark, or didn't read the room, or said something wrong or ignorant.

I just turned off notifications and ignored my karma count to just post through it. Though, I usually said things that either never got any votes, or that people seemed to generally agree with. And I was relieved whenever I did notice the numbers going up instead of down, and occasionally worked up the courage to check responses and continue conversations, but usually nothing.

This has really not changed since moving to Lemmy, and really just persists through every website. It sucks, I mostly just don't comment.

Maybe at work. Getting an email at work means... well, work.

If you don't want to get sucked in, don't respond. You don't owe anyone anything on here.

Yes.

I think I have a mental disorder where if people online are angry at me I actually start introspecting a lot rather than blowing it off. Sometimes I have something I want to say anyway and emotionally prepare to eat it.

I've tried to counter this by cultivating a Russian roulette mindset when opening my replies. Fuck it, open it, we'll all find out

I stopped reading my inbox.

I belive in standing on your square. I post something because I belive in it, and at the end of the day it's just text on a screen. Like other ppl posted you aren't obligated to response.

Learning to walk away and not waste your time engaging with people that fundamentally make your life worse is a valuable skill.

You are not obligated to engage with everyone that tries to goad you into a pointless argument.

Yes. When I've just been shitposting, I look forward to responses. If I've made a few serious comments, I dread that I've angered the hivemind.

I know that it makes no sense. But I've been honest, and there's some part of me that's afraid of negative feedback.

Yes- less from my lemmy inbox and more from my irl inboxes, though. Because no news is good news.

Only in my email inbox, and it's not so much "fright" as "anxiety".

Not on discussion fora like lemmy and reddit, the stakes are much lower.

It's important to remember that you don't owe it to anyone to engage in a comment fight. If someone decides to be grouchy and try to pull you into an argument, you can just ignore it and move on with your day.

I post a lot of memes across Lemmy, and you'd be surprised (or maybe not) how often someone goes out of their way to be upset and attempt to bait me or others into arguing with them. I think some people just enjoy being mad, but I'm not one of them, so I've decided that it's not worth the mental energy to engage with that.

Only when there are suddenly a lot of unread messages.

What did I say?