this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

"Honey, I'm home!" Barry the Bee called out.

Vanessa beamed as her husband took off his tiny hat.

He was in a black business suit with a striped tie.

It was way better than his dusty old turtleneck sweater.

'And hotter, too,' she noted with a grin.

"Welcome back, Barr-bear," she drawled out.

Barry grinned and flew towards her.

He admired her naked figure before he turned around and beat his wings against her perky nipples.

"Did you miss me?" He asked in a husky tone.

Vanessa began to pant quietly.

"You know I did. What took you so long?" She asked.

She eyed him curiously.

"Oh you know, it's springtime and all. Those daisies don't pollinate themselves!" He laughed.

"Did you bring any with you this time?" She had gotten him in the habit of rubbing around in the pollen. “Making those triplets with someone else?”

She loved the sensations that she got from the thick, golden powder.

"I can't pollinate you without it, now can I?" He teased. "Now beehive and spread your legs," he instructed her.

Vanessa giggled and followed his command.

She knew that he meant to say 'behave,' but she thought that he unintentional puns were absolutely adorable.

Barry flew over to her clit and buried his face in it.

Vanessa moaned as he rubbed his pollen-covered body all over it.

He took off his clothes and let his fuzzy figure stroke her beautiful red anatomy.

His wife's back arched as each fine hair hit her.

It felt like her clit was on fire.

Barry kissed the area and grinned.

His wife was just as experimental as he was, and he loved every minute of it.

"Honey Bunches of Oats, I have something that will Cheerio up a little," he told her.

He meant to say 'honey' and 'cheer you up,' but he just had to slip a couple bee puns in there.

"What is it?" She breathed.

"I want to be inside you," he whispered. "All of me."

"But Barry, that's-!"

"You don't want me to?" He asked.

His sapphire blue eyes stared into her green ones.

Vanessa bit her lip.

"You… you might die. It's too dangerous, Barry-kins. I don't want you to get hurt."

"If I die, then I'll always be inside you. Right here." He poked the area surrounding her vaginal opening. “And maybe you can birth me..”

Vanessa nodded.

"If you're sure." She gave him permission to enter her and he flew within the hole.

Vanessa gasped at his startling entrance.

A worker bee was inside of her.

She started to have her doubts before Barry flew up into her G-spot.

He slammed his whole body against it and she screamed.

Cum began to build up inside of her and it came out.

Barry considered swimming in it, but he knew that it would damage his wings.

He needed to fly to get the job done.

Barry's wings pulsated as he flew over to her vaginal walls.

He rapidly moved from one area to another, making sure that Vanessa felt a sensation unlike any other.

He continued to fly up until he reached her uterus.

He knew what he had to do.

The bee stung her uterus, instantly killing the child that Vanessa had unknowingly shared with her ex-boyfriend Demetri

He killed himself along with it, and his corpse hung inside of her uterus.

Vanessa screamed in agony upon realizing what her husband had done.

She tried to reach into her vagina, but she could only stick three fingers in.

She sobbed as she pictured her husband's corpse inside of her, but then she stopped and realized something.

He had pollinated her.

They could still have a child!

She began to weep onto her pillow, hoping that her child would be just as incredible as Barry was.

She hoped her growing fetus would eat her old one, and maybe her late husband too...

Or maybe she’s birth all three at once.

She would finally have triplets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I think Jason Statham is also in this one

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

They warned us of the dangers of AI, but we didn't listen!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Unbeelievable

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

Holy shit, she's Bee-sexual

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago

Alright, that's cursed. Top tier shitpost.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oooo just imagine how sweet the "cum" will taste. Yum...

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think you win the "most cursed comment"-award

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Tis a terrible day to be able to read...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Directed by Roman Polanski

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Not enough child rape

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

That’s a weird allergy

Oh shit

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

God dammit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I like how this post is /r/enoughInternet for everyone.

Excellent shitpost.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

🎶

She's just a jirl who claims that IIII am the one

But the beeeee is not my son

🎶

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I'm glad to see my shitpost is making you go to the toilet

[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Whoever made this really fucked up by not saying “son of A bee”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

That really stings.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It would've been more funny and less cursed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Why Bee Movie 2? It should bee called “Bee Movie Part Bee: Son of a Bee” this title is better as it has 33% more Bee. It also works as a double entendre.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

There's something we can agree on!