Asklemmy

How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.

Lol at least this kind of makes sense: https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Clenbuterol

"Thinking before you speak" is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind. Then,

Should maybe have yelled "Don't Remove The Pole! The building will collapse!" But instead I was using the T.H.I.N.K acronym.

I guess dying on a roller coaster. Link

Ok, so I guess I'll need to move to the USA in the future

Making fake rocks with concrete

https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-the-Pain-from-a-Scratched-Cornea

How to deal with the pain from a scratched cornea.

Celebrating Onam apparently. I didn't know that existed even, but it seems so fun it's deadly.

How to Make a Bra in 15 Easy Steps

How to wash a chest binder.

...I'm not afab???

I spent way to long thinking it was "How to make Scorpion man miss you". Thought I was gonna get stung.

Yes, dying from the most dangerous of human endeavors: small talk.

i was killed by the 'phobes y'all 😢

I got "How To Start Using Dropbox"

Too late, I win!

“Loving Yourself: Simple and Easy Ways to Practice Self-Love Every Day”

Huh. Weird.

I die building a pigeon coop.

"How to Detect Canine Hip Dysplasia"

Am I going to get sacked by a dog?

I managed to get this: How to Fire a Gun.

So it's at least plausible.

How to run away from an abusive home.

I was already planning to run away from an abusive home.

This is horrifying

Creating the right character in Skyrim ... given my history of creating immaculate Fallout characters, this seems plausible.

How to get rid of ulcer pain... In this healthcare system, probably

Giving a bullshit reason for breaking up with my partner (guess i need to start dating again to fulfill my destiny)

https://www.wikihow.com/Reasons-to-Break-Up

https://www.wikihow.com/Transfer-Money-from-Wisely-Card-to-Bank-Account

I get domed by some credit company for trying to leave their no name service

"How to put a collar on a cat" yeah that tracks honestly

https://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Shein-Ambassador

Surely, I just get so hopped up on my own farts from being an influencer, I start living the 'high life' and piss someone off to the point where they'll send a hit on me where they succeed and my public downward spiral ends up on CoffeehouseCrime YT as a case.

I die changing a CV axle.

How did they know I own a Subaru?

Imma be pushed in a water heater

https://www.wikihow.com/Test-a-Hot-Water-Heater-Element

https://www.wikihow.com/Boil-Sweet-Potatoes

I think I might be going on a quest in middle earth..

How to Cure Fungus on Aquarium Fish

Am I going to be patient zero for an IRL Last of Us?

How to get prescribed Xanax

Seems legit

So there I was Filing Adverse Possession in Texas, when suddenly the fountain pen (an OMAS Limited Edition) slipped and I stabbed myself in an artery, bleeding myself to death

Is that link rigged...? This is what I got:

https://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Rectal-Exam

Phew, good thing I don't own a car and haven't driven for 13 years... Wait maybe this is the year 👀

:(

https://www.wikihow.com/What-to-Say-when-Someone-Dies-Unexpectedly-(Quotes)

Wait what?