Nothing I do works consistently, so who cares?
Seriously if I could disappear without hurting anyone or causing rippling traumas, I would in a heartbeat.
Until then, I will at least try to enjoy the beginning of my doomed projects.
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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year 4 of selfhostong btw
I recently learned this the hard way with some woodworking. I mean, it worked, but the wood choices could have been better if I had any idea besides walking through the hardware store.
and that's the true story of how the airplane was invented
But like, that's how you do it though. Are you gunna fuck it up a lot? Absolutely but you're going to learn and get it right the next time
I learned that many people assess their abilities, and then pick a project that's reasonable for them, including learning or honing new skills.
As a person who tends to pick a project, and then tries to find the best way to use my current skills and any new ones I can pick up to force it to happen.... It just seems wild to me that you can pick a project.
When unmedicated, I find myself suddenly rearranging the house or thinking I could drag out every scrap of clothing I own for sorting or donation and it should take "an afternoon tops."
It took 4 days. Of like real ongoing effort! The worst kind!
When medicated, somehow I can dial in the time a project will take down to the minute. I seem to be able to anticipate every step.
Which goes hand in hand with how executive dysfunction absolutely fucks us. We can't perceive the steps in a task. It's just-
Step 1: Get clothes!
Steps 2 - 5: Sort and Clean!
Step ???: Done with task!
Versus medicine, where it's like-
Step 1: Go upstairs to where clothes are
Step 2: Gather the clothes into either carryable piles or available laundry totes and take downstairs
Step 3: Sort for keep, donate, or trash
And so on.
I often wonder if neurotypicals can perceive these steps naturally. Keeping this in mind though, I will often make sure that I have a task list at work.
If I get stuck on Step 3, or overwhelmed, I can look at the task list and find Step 4 and I'll be able to proceed.
Results may vary. Misplacing the list is also super easy. This is not an ad for medication, and there are massive downsides to medication, but for me the trouble sleeping and the sweating and the ease of overheating and the ease of dehydration are absolutely worth it for the ability to do more.
At least, for now.
TL;DR Time Blindness is a symptom of ADHD. If it's an option for you, meds might help. They might also hinder. It's a real mixed bag.
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I've picked tons of projects! Just not very many that happen to align with "what I may be motivated to do that day"
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It always works somehow when I start a new job. That's the way of life. Enjoy it. 😎
Me trying to do anything turns into a depth first search of all human knowledge
Hey, this logic brought me trough the entirety of high school. I don't have adhd though, so i'm not sure how badly it changes stuff, sorry.
Me, trying to start multiple music projects: