The trick to being into anime, gaming, and being able to date is to find partners who enjoy the same things.
this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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Non-joke response: be true to yourself. OP is fine for liking anime and video games, their date is fine for disliking the same. But don't feel like either one should change or hide themself whether for a single date, or even their "one true soulmate"! Either scenario is not a lasting strategy. Find someone who likes you for you, even if it's difficult and takes time...
if i were to guess, i'd say that for people it's not a problem with those hobbies in particular, but rather with the fact that the question implies you to say the most exciting things you do in a free time, therefore if you answer "anime and playing games" they consider you boring and uninitiative.
Idk "what are your hobbies" sometimes means "what do you do after work" and sometimes it means "what do you love to do when you can scrape together the time, money, and energy?"
If you're not a normie, don't match with hardcore normies. Usually it's pretty easy to tell.
Yeah, OP dodged a bullet here.
As someone who is a bit older than the average 4chan user, but used 4chan when I was that age: don’t change your hobbies for ~~a girl/boy~~ another person.
I get the reason people think this way - but you’ll never be able to hide who you truly are. Find someone who likes you for who you truly are.
And no, not showering isn’t who you truly are. Shower.
Keep in mind this is a 4chan green text, so the faux pas may have been mentioning Boku No Pico or something less innocent than “anime”
It’s not necessarily about “changing who you are,” it can be about the way you express those hobbies. Some people are definitely unfairly biased against video games and anime, but some people have encountered people who explore those hobbies in an unhealthy way.
Eg, when I am dating, I do avoid people who list gaming as their primary interest, even as a gamer myself. I might message someone who has a particular game I like mentioned in their profile, but rarely. Having gaming and anime listed primarily/only just has not been a good indicator - especially when it is left as generic as “gaming” and “anime.” Balder’s Gate 3 is normie-af and I doubt was the problem.
They can be very isolating hobbies too in how they are pursued - sometimes as a form of escapism for deeper issues. I wasted most of my twenties being a bang maid and mommy for my husband as he rotated through FIFA and Ubisoft releases, and I don’t think my experience is necessarily unique. He had a pastor who almost went through a divorce because of a World of Warcraft addiction. That’s the kind of thing that’s going to flash through most heterosexual women’s minds. It is painful to come home after work to a grunt and a pile of dishes and the flash of the screen. This is not to say that all or most gamers are like this - but if you do game and have a partner, you should sit and think to yourself about how it does relate to the time spent on other types of hobbies.
Another aspect is that receptive/passive hobbies can be less interesting to talk about? Listening to someone rehash a show is usually going to be less interesting then watching the show. Remember that a first date especially needs to have a lot of push and pull. If they haven’t watched the show, a brief this is what it is this is why I like it, what shows do you like? With games, try to find out what games they like first and match their power level. The Sims and farming games are safe and common - and if you make someone feel comfortable by listening to them talk about their Sims legacy challenge, you can talk about the benefits of your Smash main.
But also, the technical aspects of someone else’s hobby are just not something that most will want to listen to, without already having a connection. I’d love if I could make genitals flush by showing off my Hush runs or the fact that one time in Nethack I actually got a character through the mines and to the castle.
don’t change your hobbies for a girl/boy.
Change yourself for the enbies is what I'm hearing?
Yes.
But for real I have fixed it
Was meant playfully but nice to be inclusive too!
I feel like hiding/changing self is oftentimes easier than finding someone who likes one as-is. Most people are quite stereotyped and prefers being normal.
“Easier” is a copout in the long term if you’re giving up your happiness for someone else. “Normal” is a spectrum and not absolute.
I get it though - loneliness sucks arse. For plenty of people desperation makes them want to make radical changes. I promise though that a lot of people who get stuck thinking they’ll only have one opportunity at happiness are wrong
Dunno how it is "giving up happiness", when one is (typically) unhappy in the first place.
About normal - what do you mean by "normal is spectrum"? I do not understand what you mean by that. As far as I have seen, there is an socially established concept of "being normal", that 99% of people agree upon and go by.
They might only be unhappy with one thing; their romantic relationships. If they trade one happiness for another have they gained anything?
When I say normal is a spectrum - I mean that normalcy has trade offs, you can be well groomed, well mannered, good job, friends, exercise etc. then have a unique hobby like anime or collecting stamps or some obscure sport, but does that make you abnormal? I’d say that any reasonable person should see you as normal, and those who don’t are themselves abnormal.
You aren’t wrong that normal is a set of social expectations, but no one fits one mold, there’s still uniqueness in people, otherwise we’d be incredibly boring (and that is not normal)
Hmm, I guess we are living in completely different culture. But you are right in that hobby itself does not make one abnormal, usually.
Hmm, now said that, having anime as a hobby does make one seem abnormal over here. Similar for any non-mainstream games.
And use soap
Be the best version of yourself.
Best version showers and wears deodorant.
This feels like you’re just rephrasing “don’t watch anime”
Pro tip: if this is your date's reaction to your honest self then it was never gonna work out. You're better off ditching their dead weight and moving on.
Yup, better to dodge a bullet on the first date than to catch it when you're emotionally invested.
If she doesn't like those things she's not worth bothering with. Keep looking.
Nah, it doesn't matter if she likes those things or not. It's about whether or not she supports you having hobbies/interests that she doesn't share.
Exactly. You're never going to share 100% of your interests with a person, but you can still listen to them when they talk about the interests you don't share. Anon's date was a jerk for not even trying to engage with anon's interests.
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