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I had to watch my dad's being and body melt over 12 months dying of Glioblastoma.
And people just don't get that.
I often think that as my body wastes away it will be a lot harder for the people around me than it will be for me.
They will have to watch it happen knowing they can't help, whereas once I'm gone I won't have to deal with the sadness and aftermath.
Sorry you had to deal with that.
4 years ago next week marks my mom's diagnosis and the 10 months that followed. Watching your loved ones go slowly insane and become unable to speak and move in such a short time (she was mid 50s) when they should be healthy changes you. Everything I look at, everything I think about is now looked at under a different lense. And given my age, there just aren't a lot of people around me who have any idea what it's like and assume it's just handling the pain.
Like... no. I'm different now.
Luckily I have a good therapist.
Who lost his sister to it.
Doesn't help that my brother also died of a heroin overdose (just 5 months before diagnosis ).
My mom moved away after Dad died to live near her sister... Which I understand. But dam I feel abandoned.
Also sometime in between I got a fibromyalgia diagnosis. So in also grieving my old life/body. Bleh. Hugs 🫂
Damn you've had it hard. I hope you find some joy in life, you deserve it.
Sorry you had to go through that. I hope you've been able to use that experience to make the most of life.