original post: https://deadinsi.de/@deing/114567476452775481
this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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How do you feel about other people using "it" to refer to you?
For me, I feel like I'd be uncomfortable using "it" to refer to someone, even if the person was directly requesting that. I always do my best to be mindful of people's preferred pronouns, but "it" feels specifically dehumanizing. If you and I met in person and you asked me to call you "it", I think I'd honestly struggle with that. It's probably because I'm looking at things through a cisnormative lens, but I grew up being told "it" was an insult, so it'd feel like you'd be asking me to bully you.
Edit: I realize I may not be using "cisnormative" correctly. I'm low on caffeine and struggling to think of the right word.
it represents itself as a sneptaur i don't think you have to worry about dehumanizing it
Precisely! I can tell when someone is using a pronoun to be disparaging and when someone is just reacting to their perception. That's part of why any pronouns are fine for me, I think it's more useful to encourage people to gender me reflexively so I can hear how I am perceived directly.
What's weird to me is how many people still insist on their humanity when calling the human species a mixed bag feels a bit too generous.
I'd be delighted, 'cuz it happens so infrequently.
I don't think any less of folks about it, most people just default to he/him pronouns for me based on appearances and a cisheteronormative perspective that slots me in the "boy" category., But those who get to know me tend to agree that "it" is probably most appropriate specifically because it is dehumanizing. I'm not so much a person as I am a force of nature and I've got no shame about it. =D
I fucking love this, thank you for your perspective. :)