this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
36 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

23002 readers
147 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try [email protected] if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
36
How should I refer to a transgender person that I only knew before their transition? (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
20 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Okay, writing the title I feel like the answer is obvious but bear with me.

Growing up, I had a male friend for 10+ years. We fell out of touch, and 5 years later I discovered that they transitioned and they now go by a different name.

Of course I'm happy for her now, but I'm not sure how to refer to her in the context of our friendship. For example, bringing up an old story to my family. Suppose her deadname is Sam and she is now called Sarah.

Should I say, Sarah and I used to...

Or Sam and I used to...

I never knew her after her transition, but I suppose she was always a her?

I don't mean to be offensive, I'm just ignorant :)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Hey, your vibes are more valuable than mine on the subject! I'll use her current name and correct those who object :)

Thanks for your input!