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[CW: GAY sex] lost my virginity and i uhh… (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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met a different guy the day after, and 2 days later met another different guy.

I have ADHD. Testing the pills on a higher dosage rn which makes me insane (real). Never allowed myself to think sexual thoughts in public as a teenager in fear of consequences. Never dated, never had experience with a relationship.

I read a lot of resources online and I overthink a lot. Especially with my sexuality. The meds made it easier. The encouragement of my friends also made it easier.

So I downloaded Grindr. I got messaged - the usual. The meds does a funny thing of increasing my libido, makes me a bit more impulsive, gives me more energy and supercharges my heart where it beats fast til no end and so I continued chatting. Which lead to plans being made.

Might even meet another guy later today.

I dont know if im just acting out (other aspects of my life has been really stressful and overwhelming) but I just opened the flood gates and there’s no way to close em back. So many questions about aspects of my sexuality being answered practically instantly.

Planning to take an STI test at a local clinic to establish my baselines in a few days. No doubt the frequency will tone down with time. Should I even worry? Because right now, I love it.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Just use protection and take prep.

Ideally get proof of recent STI checks from whoever you are playing with, and don't be afraid to ask how recently people have been tested and what their recent history is like. It feels awkward at first but is one of the most important steps towards claiming your sexuality in a healthy way. If someone else gets turned off by that, it is the only red flag you need to find someone else.

Enjoy yourself but trust your gut, some people are legit weird, even if they are hot, and better to find someone else than put yourself in an unsafe situation.

Also be careful with drugs, particularly meth, coke, opioids and benzos. A fun hook up could offer you something that ruins your life. You are describing yourself in a way that makes it sound like uppers could injure your heart and downers could be extra addictive.

But yeah have fun, if you want the best of both worlds maybe you'll find a few people you can build trust with to become regular things and rely less on total strangers. That is fun and exciting too but just opens up way more potential for very bad outcomes.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

This is all very reasonable. I ask for testing but don’t poke and prod for an official certificate or date. The recent history stuff absolutely makes sense to ask, I am usually awkward anyways so I am not bothered by being awkward and will definitely ask, thanks for that.

The first guy I met, we did use protection for anal stuff but for the rest it was usually just oral and kissing. I am considering getting prep aswell, but just hesitant since I have already a lot of side-effects to contend with and don’t want to risk more. I’ll talk to the clinic about it.

As for drugs, yes I have 0 tolerance, especially the illicit ones you mentioned. I made that clear in my profile, but it’s good to be reminded of these things.

Actually took a shot the first time, it was not a wise decision.

Yup, that’s my overall goal. I am not much of a fan of complete strangers anyways, and would like to get to know people.

Thanks for this. I do try to remain as reasonably safe as possible, and told my friends to hold me back if things get a bit much.