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I was a scientist and have tested on the spectrum myself. And I think a whole lot of my colleagues would have too. Except if you're high functioning and productive, there is little reason to test you. The misery of being on the spectrum and not being able to easily socialize with other people or to detect their emotional states is unimportant to society as long as one meets the performance standards society sets for you. Not that I'm complaining but I might have felt better about myself if I had known why I wasn't able to do those things until I was an adult. I suffered depression largely because I was "weird" growing up and was bullied until I became an accomplished wrestler and it became dangerous for others to bully me. I truly think sport saved me. And taught me how to act more normally. Not everyone on the spectrum is so fortunate.
This, exactly. I didn't get diagnosed until my mid-30s with either Autism or ADHD. My life would have been so different if I had known earlier. I would have been so much kinder to myself. I'm sorry to hear you experienced the same. 😔