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I want to be so many things and I am nothing instead (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Personally, I've struggled with my identity because I didn't know if medicated me or unmedicated me was the real me. I wasn't certain for a long time of medicated me was essentially stealing the real me's body. I went on meds in my early teens so unmedicated me experienced very little life.

Eventually, I just decided I like medicated me more and that unmedicated me would genuinely struggle to enjoy all that life has to offer. I'm still uncertain if medicated me and unmedicated me are different people but that being an open question no longer bothers me.

Yea... I was a philosophy minor in uni - how'd ya guess.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Had a similar situation. I've had chronic nightmares since childhood. I noticed I acted differently in my nightmares. Much more pragmatic and merciless. Makes sense since I was fighting demons.

Unfortunately. I got stuck in my fight/flight response due to chronic stress. Resulting in "dream me" becomming "awake me."

I lost my ability to experience love, empathy and could no longer process positive emotions/feedback. I had destructive thoughts that extended well beyond healthy. I wanted to do stuff that I didn't want to, morally speaking.

I wasn't a different me. I was myself as much as any other day. It was a part of me that became more pronounced. The worst part.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

I personally just don't see how having an identity, a "me", matters at all. As such, why would I worry about being this or that "me".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Un-medicated me has had the spotlight from middle school through the present day, I think he's had enough. Ive been varying degrees of burnt out since i was like, 15.