Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Obviously you're -not- the problem, but I understand what you mean and why you would feel that way. I'm also kind of disappointed (but not surprised) at how often people are on their phones instead of being present. It's especially noticeable at restaurants and different social settings. I think it's something we've all gotten desensitized to as the technology has become more ubiquitous. I'm not entirely innocent in this regard either, but I do tend to notice it more than most I'd say. I prefer not to be on my phone when around other people, but if literally everyone else is on their phones then it certainly makes me feel kind of out of place. It's kind of just socially lazy behavior in my mind... Usually I will tolerate it for a few minutes, but as soon as I pull my phone out (pointlessly might I add, there's never anything on my phone. I shouldn't even carry it on me all the time, but that's another conversation I'll have with myself at some point) -then- they want to start talking again. Why is my timing always so off?? I'll never get it.
I was in a long time relationship, and we had our moments. Sometimes we would be fine just chilling by each other, together but not really interacting with each other (being on our phones or whatever). Most times, we tried to make sure to be mindful and present with each other, as this was important for BOTH of us. We had a rule that if we were out eating somewhere or whatever, then we should not really be on our phones. There were exceptions, but the requirement was to make sure that the other person was included. So, if one of us did happen to want/need to use our phone for something during this time, telling/sharing what was going on with the other person was always a requirement. It worked pretty well for us, maybe it could work for others as well. It became a more interactive experience instead of a singular/isolating behavior.
I kind of think it might do you some good to talk to her again, and continue to try to get through about how this is important to you. You care about it enough to make a post lamenting the behavior, it obviously still affects you in a negative way. Other people might not be so important, but the one you care about exhibiting this behavior towards you just makes it 1000 times worse in my mind.