this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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What would the news headline be?
Luigi Still In Custody While Waiting For Hearing
or
Mangione's Attorneys Presumably Working Hard
or
Brian Thompson Still Dead
News doesn't tend to report when things are the same as they were yesterday. If his lawyers aren't talking to the press, and the prosecutors aren't talking to the press, and the trial won't start for another month, what exactly are the reporters going to report on?
"Plenty of space on pavement outside NY Hilton for other billionaires to take a snooze" might work!
There are whole genre dedicated to court cases and legal speculation, news reporting also gets ramped up to 11 when celebrities are involved.
So news only reports the news. How bizarre. This must be a conspiracy.
Brian Thompson has not yet reformed at his phylactery. Industry experts speculate his phylactery may have been destroyed in the California wildfires.
I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth. Banks are going bust. Shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there’s no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
We know things are bad – worse than bad. They’re crazy. It’s like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don’t go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is: ‘Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won’t say anything. Just leave us alone.’
Well, I’m not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get MAD! I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to riot – I don’t want you to write to your congressman, because I wouldn’t know what to tell you to write. I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you’ve got to get mad. You’ve got to say: ‘I’m a human being, god-dammit! My life has value!’
So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!’
I want you to get up right now. Sit up. Go to your windows. Open them and stick your head out and yell – ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad!…You’ve got to say, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!’ Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first, get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!
The windows to my apartment can't be opened :(
You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I. WON’T. HAVE IT!
> Nation at full employment
> Says everyone is unemployed or on the verge of it
Ok buddy
It's a scene from the movie Network
Only posthumous winner of Best actor in a leading role, right there.
I would love to see the headlines if this was the norm.
President Carter Still Dead, We Confirmed
Obama Not President, Maybe Enjoying Retirement?
Epstein's Suicide Not Being Investigated
Actually any headline of something not happening sounds super suspicious lol
It would be nice to have a week of that kind of news just to get a break from the current doom news.
It sometimes happens during summer holidays, when journalists have nothing to write about.
As long as actual reporting went on afterwards it would be an upgrade
1+1=2
S(1)=2
I enjoyed the last one.