this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Dryads: I'll breed with anything

Dryads (earlier that day): I don't care for Lizardfolk

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (3 children)

At first I read this as "these species can fuck each other". Then I realized that this is only concerning conception, all these species could fuck each other as they please.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I see that nymphs bang everything, makes sense. Sprites are only slowing down (with M for Maybe) at very large sized humanoids like Giants and Ogres, that’s pretty hardcore/disturbing.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (2 children)

If it applies to DnD's cosmology, than it has to mean with viable offspring, because half-dwarves canonically exist in the Darksun setting and they're called Muls.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Half dwarves exist in the default rules, they're just indistinguishable from dwarves. Supposedly they're actually pretty common.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

There's a small text at the bottom explaining the chart.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Y or M means you can fuck that species. N means you can fuck that species without protection.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

No way would I fuck a bugbear without some sort of protection...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Ah, good old Book of Erotic Fantasy. It's so gloriously stupid that everyone should own a copy. That table is by far not the silliest part of the book.

It's only bested by the official sex rulebook for The Dark Eye, which is an April Fools joke that spiraled out of control and has actual rules for intercourse – deliberately bureaucratic and unsexy ones included purely as a "you asked for it" joke at the reader's expense.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Dragons and Nymphs ~~don't~~ fuck around. Got it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

And fiends of course

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Adult dragons can shapeshift, so the same way you'd fuck anyone else.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Have you watched Shrek?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

I'm so glad this meme transcends platforms

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Honestly, Elder Scrolls has it right: the offspring of two different races will always be the race of the mother, but with some traits of the father.

None of that funny crossbreeding stuff, just keep it simple.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

So basically your mitochondria decides your species?

Personally I like keeping it a little more complicated. It's the same race as the mother, unless the mother is a ditto, in which case it's the same race as the father.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

dryads reject lizardfolk and only lizardfolk

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

By this I'm assuming lizard-folk lay eggs.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It never occurred me until now that half dwarves are not a thing

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Muls from the Dark Sun setting are half dwarves. They’re sterile so I guess maybe they don’t count?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I was gonna say something about ligers and tigons, but then I did some research (looked it up on Wikipedia) and I learned some stuff. It has no relevance to my life, but it did clear up my misconception that hybrids are always sterile! So, in addition to making $125 donating plasma, making a new friend at the bus stop, and almost immediately getting drunk, I learned that some hybrids can be viable!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Be sure to continue your research with an image search, because they are cute as fuck.