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If it is the election results that are making me feel this way. I try to be optimistic even about that. I imagine what if the party I did not vote for, manages to do the good things they promised. In USA example would it not be awesome if Trump actually manages to end some wars (in at least somehow fair way)?
Your mistake is assuming the actual definition of "a fair way" and what Trump means by it are not so far apart from each other it's not even funny.
For him the "fair way" for Ukraine is for them to submit and lick Putin's boot, and have their eastern regions subjected to the full scale cultural genocide already in effect.
For him the "fair way" for Palestine is naked ethnic cleansing and genocide.
So yeah, it would in fact not be awesome for those things to happen.
E: grammar
You are describing the worst case scenario. This is not how optimism works.
There's a difference between optimism and delusion
Optimism is good
Delusion is not
The optimistic view is that's the worst that happens.
i remember what happened last time.
i remember almost losing the most important person in the world to me as a direct result of that asswipe.
i expect even worse than what i could possibly come up with on my own.
You know this is not true. And I believe it is also harmful responding this in a post of someone who is struggling with doom/pessimistic thinking.
Frankly it is. It's a shame you've deluded yourself into believing otherwise.
Delusion is not the answer to doom and pessimism. You prepare for the worst, you hope for the best, and you keep doing the best you can with the things you have. But you sure as fuck do not delude yourself.
Please. Be respectful.