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Small talk is an essential skill (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wish I knew why small talk is important and why the example in the post is a problem. It would be helpful if someone could explain it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

If you date someone for 2+ years, at that point, you know what their opinions are on all meaningful topics. All there is left to discuss is small talk: how's your day, did you like the TV show, etc.

Unless your both happy sitting in silence, you'll probably drift apart.

Edit: I think the issue a lot of people here have is not small talk itself, its small talk with strangers. Asking a loved one about their day is small talk, but that doesn't diminish its value.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've been married for 7 years. I do ask my wife how her day was, but that is because I actually care. How can people do this with strangers? Is it just assumed everyone is asking everyone else how their day was even if they don't actually care?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Tbh, I don't know, I don't like chatting to strangers either, but when a stranger asks how my day is, or how the weather is, I assume they don't really care. Which means I can lie to them to wrap it up if I want. The level of care is probably proportional to the closeness? Small talk with partner == important, care a lot, small talk with neighbour == less important, less care, small talk with stranger == not important, no care?

I also care about the "how was your day" convo with my partner, but I consider it small talk as there is usually nothing critically important about it. Its not gonna result in a major financial or life decision 99% of the time.