Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Posting the shopping cart theory because people had questions in a separate thread (slrpnk.net)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You hold onto both handles, pivot in the direction of cart return four miles away, and then you run at full blast for 6 seconds, releasing at your apex speed and finally stand there with your hand shielding you from the setting sun as that little cart trundles off towards freedom, inevitably to be picked up by another good samaritan two miles away who will repeat the process, as is custom. If fireworks should bloom and the sunset is a nice shade of red white and blue, then a tear may drip slowly down your cheek as you remember that you're in the greatest country in the world and that you wouldn't have it any other way.