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how can i help my depressed bf? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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i (m, gay) have been with my bf (m, bi) for about three months. we are in a long-distance relationship, and we've been friends for a year or two now, maybe like october 2023. lately, he's been really depressed. when he's not depressed, he's just tired and overall low energy. he never really has a lot of energy to talk to me or anything like that, and even if he wants to, he doesn't feel like it from his depression.

he has had a bad childhood and has trauma and i feel really bad for him. i get really sad/depressed when he's depressed and he says i do help, but only a little because he's so empty. he also doesn't know what he wants, so i'm there to support him. he doesn't know whether or not he wants to talk to me sometimes either, so sometimes we take mental health breaks and come back once we're happier.

i don't really know what to do, it's also not like he lost feelings for me.

he comes from a fairly poor family with an abusive family member.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago

I also have these bouts of depression. They come and go. What works for me is keeping busy. Just doing anything helps me. Just move. Laying in bed is the worst thing to do when that happens. This is my advice to him.

My advice to you is the following: Be there for him. That is all you can do. If you were physically close to each-other, I would suggest to just snuggle/cuddle. Human contact helps. But you are in a long-distance relationship, so that is a no go. Send him voice messages instead of chat? Let him know you like him. Let him know he is important to you. Let him know you are there for him.

Regardless, thank you for caring about him. Compassion, empathy and kindness are the best qualities anyone can have.