this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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I’ve been trying to meet new friends and new people to hang out with so have been going to a lot of social events.

I noticed that everyone seems to ask for my instagram account and when I say I don’t have one that connection kind of dies, and it feels too personal to ask for someone number when I just met them.

I don’t want to create an instagram because of the privacy invasions of meta but I also don’t want to feel left out when trying to make new connections. Anyone have any advice?

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is this an age thing? I'm about 40 and I never had instagram, barely used facebook, and didn't use any others really. I don't think I've ever had a problem where someone backed out because I didn't have instagram. But I also don't have a big group of casual friends, and maybe that would be harder.

Discord sucks, but I've noticed a lot of social groups use it. A couple meetups I go to all use it for communication. Maybe that's more bearable than instagram?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I’m in my mid-thirties, and while I didn’t have the Instagram/Whatsapp problem as a late teen / young adult, the pressure to use Facebook was similar. When I decided to close my account, it was almost a social death. My friends organised all their outings there and didn’t want to bother reaching out to me. And many of those who did go out of their way to include me occasionally made passive-agressive remarks about how I was being ridiculous and making their life difficult.

That said, I would have loved being able to just say “I don’t have Insta” when men were bothering me in the street. :-) But I’m sure that wouldn’t stop most of them even now.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

I'm a similar age and it was the same for me when I first deactivated my Facebook account, and still is with Messenger. After a few months of vainly trying to get people to switch to something else (like Signal), I just gave up and started using Messenger again. For me, the self-imposed social isolation was not worth the privacy gains.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

Is this an age thing?

Yup.
An newer humans go for tiktok.