this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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If she says no it doesn't come without consequences. You can't talk to her anymore without it being awkward, and if she's part of a larger friend group you're in the embarrassment is even worse.
If you've asked in a friendly way, without putting stress on her, and accepted the 'no' without making a fuss and in the same friendly way, it doesn't tend to cause difficulty in my experience.
glad for you
If you accept rejection with dignity, it's not that big a deal. Don't be a creeper. It's not that embarrassing. And if your friend group is cruel about it, that's good to know. They'd be assholes in that case, and you probably want to find out they're assholes in a low stakes situation.
You're overthinking it. I know because I do the same. But realistically most women are quite relieved when you can take a kind "no" in stride because the bar is so low in this regard.
That's something to work on. You're not immutable.