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I sand the surface with 220 grit then apply two coats of acrylic enamel. While the paint is still wet, pock the surface in random locations with a blunted nail and score here and there with a dull screwdriver. When dry, I coat with a thinned down acrylic matte black then wipe with damp rag to smear into cracks and expose the color. Finish with a good polyurethane.
What a distressing miscommunication.
Any photos of the results? If it's not too bloody!
Is this like physical smoothing of surfaces haha?