Ask Lemmy

I'm bisexual man, but I lean mostly towards women as my preference. Occasionally, I feel the pull to fool around with some guys, but nothing ever too serious.

I had just gotten out of a 5+ year relationship with a girl that I really liked, but the relationship was extremely unfulfilling sexually. She was a dead fish in bed and I had become bored with run-of-the-mill sex and I wanted to experiment a bit while I was single. I downloaded Tinder, set my preferences to any, and started swiping.

I was honestly just really horny and looking for anybody, male or female, who wanted a quick one night stand and I happened to swipe on a dude's profile who had such a sexy butt pic as their profile picture that I was convinced it was a girl and didn't bother to check. We talked a bit and he clarified that he was actually a guy, but that didn't deter me. I agreed to meet him at a motel he was staying at for work and we could fool around a bit.

To keep a really long story short, I met the guy and he did not look as advertised in the photos. He was much uglier, and did not have a cute ladyboy body. Looked like a stereotypical redneck, complete with mullet and trucker cap. I was disappointed, but I didn't want to be rude so I stayed. He offered me a drink, which I declined, and then he asked me to take off my clothes so we could start (he was already pantless when I walked in the motel room).

I then had the roughest, most uncomfortable blowjob in my entire life. He was really into giving head and deepthroating. I have climaxed once before during a blowjob so I know what a good one feels like and this guy was not very good at giving them. There was a lot of slobber and gagging involved which kind of took me out of the experience. Had to ask him to be more gentle and use less teeth a few times during the act. Eventually, mercifully, I came in his mouth and I went into the bathroom to wash up and I swear I could not get all the slobber and goop off of my junk. I went home after declining more sex with him, took a 45 minute shower, and tried to scrub my cock clean again. Took like a whole day for it to feel less gross.

He texted me the next day asking if I could "feed him another load" and I blocked him. Absolutely the worst sexual experience of my entire life that I didn't want to repeat. Really put into perspective all the dead fish sex I had been having with my ex girlfriend and I realized that it wasn't so bad after all.