this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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Two things.
First, dating and commitment is about matching and compatibility, not about some kind of objective ranking system of quality or merit. It's about how a partner or potential partner rates on your own personal scale, not some sort of societal scale built by social consensus. So while it is ok for you to find a particular trait to be a negative, or even a deal breaker, your point is completely irrelevant to the advice being given, which is not to hide important traits of one's identity.
Second, your own preference here is stated in unnecessarily condescending terms, as if your preferences are right and the opposite preference is wrong or the sign of some kind of disorder. Whatever your definition of "toys and dolls" are, it probably isn't a very tightly defined term, and I'd venture to guess that you are OK with some kinds of "toys" but not others. People collect stuff. People develop emotional attachment to physical things all the time. And for you to gatekeep and say which things are acceptable or unacceptable is kinda an asshole move.
I'm taking a somewhat oppositional position to OP! I'm not gatekeeping anything, just expanding on the topic. And no, I personally have never collected anything nor do I particularly care for decoration, and I find being attached to material possessions to that extent says something not necessarily dangerous or immoral about you, but it does still. So, while being obsessed with toys is not at the core of any ideological or personality-dependent negative attribute (nor does it constitute one by itself), it does serve as a litmus test for whether the person is, you know, 'regular'. Come on, you go to a guy's house and he has nothing but Goku and Vegeta inflatable dolls and refuses to take off the Piccolo doorag in his 30s and you're not gonna think he might be a tad infantile and focused on less than important things?
The question is: why should I?
I don't believe you're more mature because you have fewer doorags, dude.
I do believe someone having this much contempt for keeping art in their house is a little weird.
Oh god, you’re dealing with this idiot, too? They’re the whole reason we have the saying “nothing before the ‘but’ matters” and it’s just so disappointing that they think they’re being a good person.
I just like chastising people for being rude. People will, as a body politic, periodically pick up really negative attitudes about things, and that shit has got to be fought back. A strong, pro-social attitude is important to keep.
Because anyone too involved with collecting nonsense instead of deep thoughts and friends is lost in the sauce. Also, art? Or toys? And it's just a convo we're having about it, it's not like I go knocking on people's houses and bully them for being nonsensical.
You're bullying people now and you don't even realize it. That's why people are upset with you.
And yes, art. How are you collecting friends when all of them know you think they're low-class simpletons just for keeping some pokemon cards instead of "correctly" larping as an intellectual?
You can't vibe with someone who keeps a bunch of plushies on their bed? That's fine. Whatever. Why do you think so negatively about your fellow people?
None of my friends do that, and I am gentle when they do harmless but nonsensical things or simply say nothing because I'm not that much of a maniac, lol. I have no other social media accounts besides this Lemmy one for that same reason. And I don't think negatively of my fellow man, I just think vacuous and consumerist interests are neither artistic nor overall valuable, and dolls are for children. You can still be a lovely person even if you're into dolls in your 30s, of course, but I know we're not gonna have much in common and that's just life. 🤷