I'm afab and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.
Basically I'm comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I've got in my pants. I've felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it's not a phase or a fetish, it's how I've wanted to present sexually for most of my life.
Does this disconnect I'm talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?
Are there any other people here who feel this way?
(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn't look right (to me) when it heals, it isn't functional how I would want it to be, and it isn't sensitive like a dick.)
Being trans isn't just about surgeries. If you feel there's a mismatch between the gender people assigned you and your actual gender or sex, you're more than welcome to use the label if its useful for you. I know some agender people explicitly opt-out of the trans label (I used to be in that camp), and I think its fine to think "trans" doesn't serve any useful purpose in discussions with most people and not use it if you think it'll just confuse people more than it conveys meaningful information about yourself. It could even be context-dependent what labels you prefer, similar to how A-spec microlabels might only be something you talk about within A-spec or broadly queer communities.
Before I had any clue I was trans, I used to avoid listing "they/them" as pronouns (and therefore avoided pronouns in general) because I was worried it could be seen as taking something important for NBs and appropriating it. I don't know if I'm seen a single NB who has ever expressed such an idea and if anything, I think people would find it more offensive to think they would be so gatekeepy.