I'm afab and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.
Basically I'm comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I've got in my pants. I've felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it's not a phase or a fetish, it's how I've wanted to present sexually for most of my life.
Does this disconnect I'm talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?
Are there any other people here who feel this way?
(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn't look right (to me) when it heals, it isn't functional how I would want it to be, and it isn't sensitive like a dick.)
I look into all the options every few years and phallo is still the closest end result to what I want and it still isn't advanced enough to be producing outcomes that look, act and feel like real dicks.
I've actually been with someone who had metoidioplasty though! It was sensitive and looked good (albeit very small) and they were very happy with it, but it's not something I could see my body having.
Idk. Like I'm currently in my 6th year of an aro/ace stage in my life due to finally having space to process a lot of traumatic stuff I've been putting off, and that makes this whole thing extra hard to talk about because my ideal body plan is directly connected to my ideal sexual presentation and behaviour.
So while I really would like to have my own functioning dick that I can have penetrative sex with, I'm also unsure if I'm even going to come out of this aro/ace stage I'm in and medical science is still incapable of creating what I actually want, which makes this all kinda just feel like pointless yearning and trauma/dysphoria dumping on strangers.
Sorry about that.