this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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I'm afab and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.

Basically I'm comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I've got in my pants. I've felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it's not a phase or a fetish, it's how I've wanted to present sexually for most of my life.

Does this disconnect I'm talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?

Are there any other people here who feel this way?

(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn't look right (to me) when it heals, it isn't functional how I would want it to be, and it isn't sensitive like a dick.)

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[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Which brings me to my conundrum. Is it wrong to identify with a label if there is no way of achieving it? Like if there is no surgical possibility of transitioning to the body that I want, am I still trans?

I can not say this loudly enough, but fuck yes you are!

You don't have to use the label if it doesn't feel right for you, but if it does, it's yours for the taking. Being trans is about who you are, not what you do. Being trans or gender diverse is about saying "This whole sex and gender thing you've assigned me, yeah, it's not working for me". And that's you. What you do with your experiences is up to you, but the experiences are there and they're real, no matter what your external circumstances.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago

Oh wow, why am I crying, haha. Thank you.

I don't know where I'm going to take this but I feel better about it all for knowing it's valid.