this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
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ADHD memes
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Quick test: Do you have friends with ADHD?
More than 1? Ask them if they think you have ADHD.
More than 50% of your friends? You have ADHD.
It’s a scarily accurate meme that ADHD folks flock together.
For a more considered approach, I’d recommend getting started here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/health/adhdattention-deficit-disorder-test
It’s non-comprehensive, but doesn’t require a login or email to see your results, and it gives you a starting point to talk to your doctor.
Depending on where you are in the world and how badly this is impacting you or the state of your local health system, you may want to investigate alternative diagnosis options.
In the U.S., it was a 6-month wait for a traditional psychiatrist. I resorted to an online option as my ADHD discovery coincided with long covid and depression (I needed a quick turnaround before it impacted me professionally), but there are now some chain psychiatry operations that, well, I don’t like their business model, but they offer fast turnaround if you’re willing to be a part of the enshitification of yet another profession.
Editing to add: That’s more a pointed comment at myself than anyone else. My regular doctor was not really getting my depression meds right to the point it was becoming an emergency, so I wound up with a company called LifeStance. They’re the McDonalds of mental health providers.
This is a fantastic comment with helpful information and resources.
Though what I really wanted to reply to was your first part, because my god, is it true. Colloquially, a lot of people call this "being on the same wavelength" or sharing a "vibe." Of all the people I may have called "friends" throughout my life, there are two camps - those I connected with naturally and effortlessly, and those that I felt I carried all the work in maintaining. I learned not to waste my time trying with those in the latter group - if the other person isn't trying to be friends back, they just don't want to be friends. It's better to let them go, and put the ball in their court if they ever wish to come back.
However, the friends in the former group are people I still make and maintain connections to, even now, well into my 30s. These are the ones that share, reflect, and sometimes amplify my energy (for better or for worse.) I have to spend so much time focusing at work these days, it feels really good to hang out with someone afterwards and let my mind run unleashed, knowing there's no judgement because they ride the same ADHD brain train that I do.
The internalized sense of failure because you cannot maintain friendships with (most) neurotypical people is honestly kind of a cancer until you figure it out. It’s one of the most damaging things that happened to my psyche as a result of having ADHD.
It’s one of the reasons why I so strongly advocate for everyone getting tested if they have any suspicions. The knowledge that I wasn’t wrong, and the disconnection I felt from others was not (necessarily) a result of my own failings was really freeing and lifted a lot of weight from me. I hope getting tested can help others by either preventing them from internalizing similar feelings, or giving them a path forward to working through those feelings.