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Sounds like you're on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and it's messing with your head - which in turn will mess with your dick's behavior.
Newsflash - not being ready for sex is not some form of modern-day leprosy (no matter what the rape-apologist brigade says).
Real life intimacy is not something you can learn from porn - you can only learn it by doing (note that I didn't say doing it). It sounds to me like you have an idea in your head of how these things should go that isn't matching up with reality - if I were you, I'd rather sacrifice the former rather than the latter.
It's not the porn - porn is just fantasy. It's your expectations of yourself that's the problem. You need to let that go. Not being ready for sex is not something you need to apologize for - but you need to learn how to be open about this stuff. She obviously still want to talk to you, and you should.
Thank you for this.
Sure thing.