tiefling

NYPD goes HARD on toll jumpers, but there's virtually zero enforcement on traffic and cars. Everywhere I go I see assholes with illegally modified vehicles, degenerates speeding down shoulders and medians, motorcycles on crowded sidewalks and pedestrian paths, and too many drunk drivers to count. There are so many cases where one pig parked on the shoulder during rush hour would fund the city budget for a year.

Instead we get whole families of pigs loitering by the turnstiles

It hurt itself (and two innocents) in its confusion

Good news, he's also a 34 count felon

Isopropyl alcohol is the correct fuel! If I'm at the bar, it's usually hand sanitizer. Oil candles just light faster usually.

Oh I do that one all the time as well, it's a great way to light oil candles off each other (if you can withstand the heat)

• Eating whole fruit with the peel nonchalantly (limes usually, but my favorites are bananas)
• Miscellaneous lighter tricks involving filling my hand with butane or putting out jet lighters with my thumb/tongue
• Sticking straws deep into my sinus (Google human blockhead)
• Holding cocktail straws and cards with my tongue

This is just what I can pull out on short notice at a bar. Once people find out what I do, they're usually interested in the details too.

Sideshow. Tonight I watched someone do aerial while hanging from their hair and then their teeth. And that wasn't even the craziest shit I've seen.

You can't prove he didn't have a Bluetooth powered butt plug on the whole time

Well to start, one of them supports me having the same rights as everyone else while the other one wants me dead

My forked tongue, when I show it off. I also have the best bar tricks.

"This could've been an email"

How could they be so anti-semetic /S