feiras

Just went through some work stress, gender dysphoria crisis (transitioning is soo scary with a right-wing family x.x) and autism struggles today... currently listening to this smooth jazz song and having a beer to calm down

On a positive note: I installed Fedora on my little Optiplex today and I'm currently backing up my photo memories from the past twelve years from iCloud to leave yet another tech conglomerate :)

How has your day been?

Not only did it take me 23 years to figure out that this constant, never-ending and subtle 'something is NOT right' feeling was actually gender dysphoria, I feel like I have to play a constant game of trial and error with my emotions even for the tiniest of things.

I'll squirm uncomfortably for hours on end, stuck in 'functional freeze', feeling like I just have to relax because I'm stressed from work, but what I'm actually feeling is HUNGER.

Then I eat something and try to remember what hunger feels like, but end up doing the exact same thing as soon as I wake up the next morning.

Don't even get me started on shopping groceries... If I don't buy the EXACT ten items I always buy, I'll be stuck for twenty minutes in front of the cheese isle and try to logically deduct which of these cheeses I might like, because I don't have any gut instincts whatsoever.

I'm not that bad at reading others others emotions, because I have learned the signs of body language, but I can't look at myself in the mirror and have a conversation with myself to see how I react to things when I'm out and about. I just have to know what I feel, which is kinda impossible sometimes.

I just sat in silence in front of my computer for the past few hours, feeling this tangled blob inside of me that tells me 'Hey, you want something! Better figure out what it is.'

After two hours of trying to: watch a show, eat more, shower and change clothes (none of which worked), I remembered: 'Ah, I like listening to music and I haven't done that in a few days' - so I put in my headphones and then it's like 'Ah yes, that's what I've been missing'.

Going through this all the time is SOOO exhausting! I HAVE TO sleep 10+ hours every night to recharge from experiencing conscious reality - and people still wonder why I dropped out of college xD

I find them to be mostly very well made, long-lasting and would rank Japan on the same level as many European countries across most metrics

Der dgti-Ergänzungsausweis ist ein standardisiertes Ausweispapier, das alle selbstgewählten personenbezogenen Daten (Vorname, Pronomen und Geschlecht) dokumentiert und ein aktuelles Passfoto zeigt. Bei sämtlichen Innenministerien, bei der Polizei, vielen Behörden, Banken, Universitäten, Versicherungen und anderen Stellen ist er bekannt und akzeptiert. Dort, wo dies noch nicht der Fall ist, hilft ein QR-Code auf dem Ausweis weiter.

(I advise against buying from McDonald's)

Feel free to suggest in the comments :) Just looking for something relatable to listen to while commuting or doing household chores xx

Sadly a bit too smol

Drop them below! Preferably with Genre / Style mentions :)

Makes me feel super dysphoric - currently I already have a discernible M shape on my forehead (short-medium hair ATM, growing it out) -.- Any tips on what I can do before going on hormones? Could that hair grow back once I'm on them? Any hairstyling advice?