this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Shiloh. Radiohead isn’t terrible, and they’d probably be open to other interesting music, and so may make for better conversation than Crossfit Bro or Engaged Lady.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

Dayzie obviously

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lewis. I fart a lot too and have very little to no sense of smell. Open up the window and we'll fart together all day.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

smart plan. And you could actually leave the window closed and ensure that no other co workers bother you. Who is going to walk into a methane chamber

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

I get to work in an actual office (*_*) with walls?
Also... Wallace.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago (2 children)

What is all natural body deodorant? Also, anybody but Susan.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Either no deodorant, or something that doesn't work that says it works, but it definitely doesn't.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

what's wrong with microwaving tuna?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hello Brice, we all went to the pub after work but we didn't invite you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

I'll tell Susan

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Whichever isn't a fucking bigot.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

How does no one want to work with Brice? That seems manageable

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Wallace, clearly. Also Shiloh likes Gary Numan based on the jumper, and you can't like it without listening to it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Caleb, easy choice. Like do you know how great CrossFit is for you? Dude you don't even need equipment! Just start...

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I was gonna say, what's the downside?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Since I worked in HR, I'm good with that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Wait I get an office? Fuck man I don't mind sharing with any one of these people. It beats the hell outta being in a cubicle row surrounded by all of them, which has been my experience so far.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Lewis's real name is Sean McLoughlin, and I would not mind sharing that office.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wallace or Susan. Almost every place I’ve been HR is the freakiest of the groups and generally doesn’t care. (And yes that’s annecdotal and I’m sure there will be others who say they’re the worst)

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Known farter because I can assert dominance

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Aww, probably Hannah. As much as I would want to be surly or jealous of someone else finding their person, I could use some positivity in my life.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

When Wallace croaks ya got your own office

Hannah’s happiness and optimism would probably be good for me but could also backfire hard

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

I think Hannah would be okay unless she turns into a bridezilla. Not because I’d be involved but because I’m guessing bridezillas are probably deeply unhappy people that take their misery out on others.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Can I work from home instead?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yes, but one of them moves in with you.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I know this is a joke but most of these seem fine to me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Now tell me why you're on this list?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

I'm like 100

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago

I'll go with Lewis. Him and I can do a great duet with our farting generator.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Dayzie or Wallace. They both seem pretty easy.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Shiloh i dont mind listen to radio

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

Be careful, I had a friend who only listened to Nine Inch Nails. I really liked NIN. His obsession was too much. I hung out with him a lot growing up, like sleepovers every other weekend stuff like that. When I did sleep over, he could only go to sleep by putting on a NIN cd on repeat... let's just say it's been over 20 years since that, and I still have no interest to ever listen to them again. I like Radiohead and would not want this same fate for them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Je suis Lewis

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

"Natural deodorant" is usually just a block of an aluminum salt crystal, which'll work just fine since that's the kind of stuff in "industrial" deodorants too. Stains more and dries out your skin though since you usually end up with way more of the stuff in your pits, which is sorta ironic I guess.

So I think I'd go with Shiloh or Dayzie?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago (5 children)

So the salt crystal deodorants are potassium alum, which has been used for thousands of years for various things. It’s a naturally occurring rock, and people found it has mild antiseptic properties and stop small cuts from bleeding. It’s a popular aftershave for that reason, commonly available for purchase as an “alum block”.

When used as a deodorant, what’s actually happening is you’re creating a salty layer on your skin that bacteria can’t form on. (No idea how that works out in practice, I use actual deodorant lol). And indeed it is used in many actual deodorants for that exact purpose

HOWEVER, and I want to mention this not because you said anything wrong but because I have found it to be a source of confusion for many people, it is not the same as the aluminum salts used in antiperspirants. Namely aluminum zirconium and aluminum chlorohydrate. Different chemicals. They function by blocking your pores so the sweat doesn’t release in the first place.

Many people are concerned, whether or not the concerns are founded, that the antiperspirant aluminums are mired in health risks such as cancer. The alum blocks are not wrapped up in that in any way, other than the fact that they are also used in (and used alone as) deodorant. It’s an interesting little piece of nuance that doesn’t come up much due to the relative non-popularity of the alum blocks

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Weird, here natural deodorant means it doesn't contain any aluminum.

But I'd gift Shiloh high end headphones, and hopefully Walter is one of those spry 100 year olds with tons of interesting stories and anecdotes about life.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

with tons of interesting stories and anecdotes about life

...which he will find ways to clumsily segue into again and again, regardless of how many times you've heard them

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well if he's 100 hopefully he'll die before the repeats start.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

You know how kids with thousand of Disney and outcast movies available at all time, will watch Frozen on a loop anyway? Old people are the same with amazing stories, they pick a favorite one and stick to it.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

I’d share an office with Brice only so I could steal his lunch every day, open it, and dump it into a sealed trash can.

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