Most recent OGLAF (NSFW) is on point
this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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"There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time." Jane Austen
The one depicted in the girl in this story is called narcissistic love.
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Love is decision, not a feeling.
The way I have had it explained is:
Infatuation is psychosis
Love is reason
Which makes a lot of sense to me.
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Real talk: I've had this happen a couple of times, and know of many other people who either went through this or believed the same nonsense, with all types and permutations of identities and Southern plumbing between them. And all I'm left with after trying to wrap my head around this thing is a question: can we really blame the people who are doing stuff like this considering Mass Media's been force-feeding us this nonsense from the beginning?
I'm not saying this should imply forgiving the behaviour, not in a million years! I'm just questioning where our collective frustration should be directed.
What is southern plumbing?
Genitalia. Meaning the genders and sexualitiesb of the people are not what determines their behaviour
Ah, thank you. Of course. I was confused by “between them”, thinking it only referred to the southern plumbing.
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Only valuing a relationship for the momentary bliss of being close to someone new is a problem of emotional immaturity.
The problem arises when we consider the facts that a person's emotional development depends on parenting, and people tend to partner with others of similar emotional maturity. If you've got one immature parent, you've more than likely got two. It takes extra work to shed that baggage and start being your genuine self.
It's definitely a cultural ill, but I can't credit the notion that our emotional development comes from our media. We need to be teaching people what emotional maturity is, how to get there, and how to heal from having emotionally immature parents.
Emotional immaturity is so pervasive at this point you'd need to put this stuff in the curriculum of every school and have that initiative succeed for multiple decades to change the culture.
My belief is that emotional immaturity is the natural state of humanity. Without guidance, some wise people will reach maturity, but that's really a small subset of the population, and the vast majority of people will not make this growth.
The vast majority of people do things because that's what they've always known; it takes special effort to question why you do what you do. Saying that these people are emotionally immature may be true, but I don't think that the cause is that people have emotionally immature parents. People have to be specifically taught to value rationality and wisdom over vibes and feelings, and without this concerted effort, most people will simply be emotionally immature.
I don't think humanity has a "natural state" so much as a rock bottom - and I'm not even convinced it has one of those. It's not really a state of being we should promote or excuse.
You speak of guidance as if it comes from some unknown external source - the source is other people. That's exactly why I said we should teach about emotional maturity in schools, to give kids necessary guidance.
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What is emotional maturity?
That's a big subject, so I'm just going to recommend my favourite book about it:
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