this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Honestly, if Luigi gets convicted by a jury of his own peers, it will just further prove that the ultra wicked never get their come uppance while the working class always do. That is some bullshit. Also, fuck that mcdonalds employee.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Brian Thompson got his. You just can’t rely on the system to deliver their comeuppance.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago

I would seriously never speak to someone again if I learned they were on a jury that convicted Luigi.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

"Food was so bad, I thought I was eating the rotten flesh of an overweight CEO. 0/5 stars"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

This is an orgy of evidence, and feels like an arrest stemming from some illegal surveillance or intel means, a pretend phone call, and planted evidence.

It feels so much like when the allies would crack japanese codes and send a patrol plane to find a target, and make an excuse to go for the kill.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago

On NPR.... "The real hero...." Fuck you McDonald's asshole! Let us known when you realize how stupid your decision was.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This isn't even humor at this point. I'm legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

Like this one doesn't even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 week ago

The joke here is a little more subtle. It's that this particular Maccas was already 1 star, so these reviews aren't actually hurting it. The reviews are just changing the reason given for being 1 star.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

This isn't even the onion if you look at the link

and from the description of this community

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Scrollers diseased . I had to read it twice myself

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I heard it was some boomer customer that ratted him out

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It fits my bias so I believe it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe they'll use the 50k to escape Altoona and move to a country with better health care.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

This make me chuckle LOL.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

No friends, for the rest of their fucking lives. I hope 50 grand was worth your fucking soul. Bootlicker extreme

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

They’re not even getting the money. What a ducking joke.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I do wonder if they wanted to be caught on some level chilling in a McDonalds on a laptop with a ghost gun in their backpack and a similar outfit, but more info will probably come out.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If he wanted to be caught, it's possible he made an anonymous tip on himself and the workers caught the blame. Just a thought.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Yeah I mean if this is the person and they were an Ivy league educated tech worker with no background in violence/war, one might feel pretty guilty and out of sorts after killing someone regardless whether that person deserved it or not, many things are possible

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

I truly hope that rat is shunned and shamed everywhere they go.