196
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
It only pushes away the "potential allies" who are unwilling to do anything to help queer people. Who aren't allies.
Ask drag as many questions as you like. Drag will answer in good faith, and if you say something that makes drag uncomfortable, drag will be specific and explain why drag is uncomfortable.
Most other trans people aren't going to be patient with you, because you opened this conversation by assuming hostility from them. They'd rather answer the questions of someone who asks from a neutral or agreeable starting position. Drag will answer your questions anyway.
Cis is a prefix, not an acronym, you don’t have to all caps it. And if you weren’t cis then you wouldn’t be an ally, you’d be part of the community; allies are cis by definition.
Try to understand that for most trans people, they encounter a shit ton of dishonest “questions” that are actually just ways for people to be transphobic . If 9 people punch you in the face after saying “knock knock,” you’d be telling the next person that says “knock knock” to fuck off, too.
There is also a non-zero chance that whatever you’re asking is a right wing talking point you’ve absorbed after it’s been laundered through various dog whistles. Which isn’t a personal flaw, right wing shit is prioritized by algorithms and media. Even trans people have to unlearn a lot of this shit. It’s even possible you just independently came up with similar phrasing or reasoning without realizing it had associations with right wing shit. But trans people just seeing your comment in isolation can’t know that.
Given the unprecedented existential threats to trans people going on right now in the US (likely where most of these people you’re talking to are from), maybe extend a little grace. On top of the general trauma of living as a scapegoat minority, many are losing or may soon lose health care and other rights. Expecting people to behave perfectly in the face of that is unrealistic.
I’m not saying don’t feel however you feel about it when someone blows up at you, just recognize the context of it.
I do also hate the dog whistle shit. You know how I end up learning what dog whistles exist? Because I say something with innocent intent that some fucking neonazis co-opted without my knowledge and get assblasted for it because I tend not to hang around bigots to know their stupid lingo. 😠
Ignorant I may be; but the only hate I have is for hatemongers.
If the pin helps your sister, then you've earned the title of ally. Does it?
You're right, it sucks being told how you can and can't identify. The purpose of the post seems to be to motivate allies to take more action to help. But I agree that the phrasing is problematic.
Just keep being supportive of LGBT people in real life and ignore random memes online. I consider wearing a pin as an action that qualifies as an ally. It's looking like LGBT people might need more help than just a pin with the way governments are heading.
Also if you are dealing with people online, consider that they may be bots or trolls who may not even be LGBT purposely attempting to cause division.
"I have a marginalised sister who I want to support, but a generalised post on the internet that I took as a personal attack (if the shoe fits ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) hurt my feelings by not prioritising them above her oppression and the oppression of those like her, and didn't make sure to centre me and praise me for my minimal empathy every step of the way, so now I'm not gonna! I'M tHe rEaL vIctiM hEre! sToP oPprEsSiNg mE!!!11" 🙄
You self identified allies just can't fucking help but out yourselves, can you?
I have been active for decades in support of LGBT rights. Your commentary here is poisonous enough to bother me. This is not the way.
That person wants you to tell them what to do. They're looking to you as a leader. Embrace the opportunity to make change by being a good leader who gives clear instructions.
The point is - if it's for your sister... Ask your sister.
The feeling of "What am I supposed to do?" is totally natural, and something you have in common with a lot of queer people. The simple answer is "Your best".
Just keep wearing that pin, speak out against hate and maybe chill the fuck out?
No, no, don't you see? They're the real victim here!
Ok so do I wear the pin or not?
You wear the pin if it helps your sister. If it helps your sister, you're an ally.
You get to choose if you're an ally through your actions. If you already do good things to help queer people, then this post has nothing to do with you. The only reason for you to be worried by this post is if you don't think you've done enough. Is that what's going on here?
I pretty much never, ever post, but you're a real piece of shit. You're acting as if anyone who isn't your idea of marginalized isn't worthy of their own feelings and definitely not worthy of anyone else's. You're worse than the people you're attacking in this thread and your words and actions will do nothing but move people who may be on the fence regarding their feelings about marginalized groups in a worse direction.
Or you're a troll. Either way, huuuuge piece of shit.
Oh yeah, because your support of marginalised people is exactly like our gender, or any other immutable characteristic we get oppressed and even murdered for, well done!!! We should have realised all along - it's the privileged people who get to look at our oppression from the side line and decide whether to support our right to exist depending on how nice we were to them, who are the real victims here!!! (heavy fucking /s)
What's next, you gonna come out with your own "blue lives matter" - "ally lives matter"??
Fucking pathetic, but hey, thanks for adding yet another example of exactly the kind of person this post is talking about.
You are not an ally to anyone but your own fragile little ego,
Divide and conquer is a strategy as old as time. Can’t fault you for trying.
Slightly unrelated rant.
I'm tried of these culture wars. It's complete nonsense. I'm not particularly LGBT+ but it shouldn't matter. This is about freedom for fucks sake! People just want to live and exercise their human rights! Anybody telling others they mustn't exist their way is an enemy of humanity! The fact that people get denied jobs and even have their rights restricted, just because some asshole finds out the ID doesn't match is fucking repulsive!
Recently had a chat with my aunt and she just "you can't expect people to immediately accept changes", shut the fuck up! It's not a change! It's a core value that's been in our constitution for longer than any of us have been alive. But clearly, despite being raise on these values, I'm the only one who believes them. Like some fucking santa claus shit!
This isn't about purity, but you tell yourself whatever you need to to avoid engaging in the mild discomfort of unlearning and challenging your privilege, existing bias, and the status quo, I guess.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯