Maybe you answered this question on an earlier comment and I missed it, but here goes: what would you estimate your transition has cost in EUR, over the years?
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It’s been a really long time & prices have really changed since then and honestly I don’t really remember that well anymore but I’ll say easily over 100k euros including everything from travelling abroad, hotel stays, actual surgeries, etc.
As a straight man, Ive always fantasized about being with a trans but only in a voyeuristic setting. Sorry if I sound crude, but have you had success in the casual dating world?
Been married to a straight man for 17 years, dating for 19. Had many options even before my husband. Never lacked men to say the least. Actually didn't lack men even before starting my transition, as a feminine gay boy; you have no idea how many men were like: "well, I'm not gay if I'm the one giving, and you look like a girl, so..." back then. From my experience men are extremely easy to charm.
What the fuck is voice feminization surgery? That sounds scary af. Do they literally have to cut into your throat?
It's a surgery that raises your pitch. There are multiple methods for this. Mine was something called Vocal Fold Shortening and Retrodisplacement of the Anterior Commissure. Basically they do this: The unique concept of Yeson‘s VFSRAC surgery is that the most advanced surgical technique is used which perfectly modifies the features of male vocal folds into those of female vocal folds. This is achieved without the necessity of a skin incision by endoscopically removing 1/3 of the vocal fold membrane and internal tissue, and then suturing the new structures tight with permanent suture material using some of the world‘s finest micro endoskopic instruments.
Thank you for the explanation. It sounds a lot less frightening after.
Your vocal chords are altered to sound feminine
I mean yes but isn’t that deep in your throat?
the back part sort of is, but you can feel the area where the vocal chords are, it's the hard bit roughly where your chin meets the neck
I think they go through your mouth, no cutting. I think they just have to like do something to shorten the length of your vocal cords because the shorter they are the higher pitch they'll create.
That sounds awesome!
How did your transition impact your and your family's relations with the extended family and local community? I'm also Romanian, a straight dude, and in the early 2000s it was wrong for me, as a guy, to have long hair and piercings. I was constantly reminded and reprimanded for it. Oh, I also got beat up on the street going home from a club, for the same reason. I moved away as soon as I could do so.
My family and I have always been unapologetic. My parents' explanation of it was a mental disorder that needed to be fixed through transition always worked. Of course people talk, but as they say, cainii latra - ursu merge... I was a feminine gay boy in school, had long hair, painted my nails, wore makeup, etc... got bullied a lot, even by the teachers, but I was "de gasca" and had my group who always had my back. Now I'm a straight woman with a husband and 2 kids, even got married at church... Romanians have this idea in their mind that trans is always something like Naomi (you know who I'm talking about) or the other "trans" women (most escorts) who'd go on TV shows to make ratings and stuff... they don't think of someone like me when they hear trans.
do you ever forget that you're trans?
Yes, all the time. In day to day life, it never even crosses my mind anymore.
I read all your comments so far and found it very interesting. Congrats on your success of (it seems) getting the life you want and things going well, pretty awesome!
I'd love to know your thoughts in regards of how easy or hard you think it is for others to spot that you've been born a man. Like, on a scale from 1, super easy, to 10, basically impossible.
I'm not going to be humble. I transitioned young, I had the surgeries I wanted to have with great surgeons, I'm stereotypically feminine and I've been dealt a good hands in genetics. So 10. I've travelled around places such as the Gulf with no issues, including Saudi. Side note, I'm glad I live in Romania and not the "Western West" where trans people are always in the headlines, cause here absolutely no one even thinks of trans people - that's how rare it is, so people don't even have that reflex to "spot" others or whatever. It just never crosses their minds.
I think stealth is the wrong word you're looking for. It implies that you're somewhere you feel you shouldn't be, unless that's how you feel. Maybe a better word would be integrated or accepted. Cheers
Stealth is the word used by trans people who transitioned and pass but don't tell people they're trans.
I'm not trans so far be it for me to tell them what words to use, but I do feel like stealth has a duplicitous connotation. It makes it feel deceptive.
It just feels like "invisible" to me. There are pros and cons to being invisible.
One con is if everyone were stealth, transition would seem scarier because all trans people you'd see out and about would not pass.
What's your favourite book(s) and band(s) ?
Anna Karenina & ABBA.