Have confidence in the credibility of what she is expressing in those videos.
this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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Sounds like a scene from Get Out lol.
"Let me take a video of you saying you're going to kill the president."
Why is this posted in the funny community?
The poster says it’s funny
Wait for another hack on a cloud service then put it online and claim ignorance.
First, 100% a red flag. Even if they wanted to give some sort of "I trust you with my life" sort of video, there's a bunch of better ways to do it. Going for a racist rant makes me think that they're a racist.
Secondly, this is deeply submissive - they're giving you the power to ruin their life. If you want to do that sort of stuff as a couple you should really talk about it first and be on board with receiving that sort of power and responsibility. Entirely possible+reasonable for the receiver to find this shitty because they don't want to make a choice like this, especially if these are truly held beliefs.
The healthy response to this is to send them to a therapist. And definitely dump them if they're actually racist.
Subby racist? She clearly wants the colored dick "forced" on her
I don't see how someone could do a racist rant and not be racist. That it is a rant is an important word here.
I bet if you tried hard enough you could come up with one
Ok. What's yours?
Have you never heard of acting?
Where's the leverage if it's a performance?
ITT: Everyone taking a shitpost from reddit posted to [email protected] seriously
Also: both romantic and a red flag
Nah, if it was real they're either fucked in the head about romance or feeling them out with deniability. Just a red flag in superposition between different warnings.
Plus you'll note there isn't anything in there about not believing what she said. Just the nonsense about trust.
The question that leaps to my mind is why would that idea have occurred to her in the first place?
Relationships are no jokes. Neither is racism. Depending on how I feel about her, the video might leak. I would certainly not stay.
Big red flag to me.
Edit: I have broadened my mind. I had not considdered receiving such a video from somebody whom of I am certain has no racist mind at all.
In that case I would reciprocate by deleting the footage.
Damn, remind me not to partner with you in a trust fall.
Like this has "here is a staged video of me as a proof/test of trust" and not "here is actual proof I'm a racist" because there would have been OTHER proof, racists aren't that sneaky.
Your first reaction is "finally I have a chance to ruin this girl I love's life and go FULL SCORCHED EARTH"
Fuck man, you've got to dial up your chill at least a skosh!
Seriously? That's your take?
the video might leak.
That’s a little much. Such poor taste she deserves a criminal record?
Leaving works though for sure. Can do the favor of explaining why too.
depending on how I feel about her
Sounds like she is making a "joke" in poor taste while also fishing for your take on the things she is joking about.
or perhaps it's something sexual. Power imbalance Idk.
It's a twisted romantic gesture. I like it. Being partners in crime strengthens the bond between two people.
Yeah but why racism? She could say something illegal like "I plan on killing (person's name"
I think the comment that says she is fishing for whether he is racist too is on the right track.
She is treating the relationship and trust as transactional. No bueno.
A red flag.
Sharing dangerous ideas with somebody to show that you think they are safe is an honest signal of trust, but only if the dangerous ideas are genuine.
Someone who attempts to buy trust disingenuously is not to be trusted.
Someone who thinks in terms of kompromat and manipulation is dangerous to be around.
Sounds romantically intended with some really fucked up and distorted ideas mixed in. I'll take as given that she doesn't actually hold any of the racism she expressed as sincere beliefs. Part of you twigged that though she seemed to be trying to be nice in a really weird way, something seemed off and it is a bit off. If you imagine she mailed you a knife and a key to her house and said now you have the power to attack me and I'm vulnerable you'd probably see much more clearly and obviously how unromantic and off-putting and psychotic that is despite following a very similar logic.
In both these scenarios she's putting her life in your hands to demonstrate trust, but there's an implicit suggestion there that you would or could ever do something like that and only don't because of your undying devotion. There's a kind of twisted view of humanity there that that ruining someone's life on purpose with kompromat is something people generally do to one another but for the power love to zovercome it. It's sort of a red flag that she might think that way but really you know her better than any of us and also whether you think she's good for you. That she decided this would be a good idea and a nice birthday gift is disturbing enough that it's probably worth bringing up though. I think if it was me I'd probably express appreciation for the sentiment but also delete the video and tell them I had done so. Unfortunately you could never prove that you have deleted it so her messed up little game will always work in the manner that she intended but the extent to which this is something to worry about long term is something you can evaluate from her reaction to this news and your explanation of why it didn't feel right. Sometimes people do dumb shit, especially when they think they've spotted an opportunity for comedy and can't see their actions in a different light until after they've done the stupid thing. There's a chance here for this stupid thing to be a memory between just the two of you that neither of you has to worry about again so long as you point out that it wasn't as romantic as she thought it was and also delete whatever email or communication was used to send the video plus the video itself. If she's able to feel a bit embarrassed and move on you're probably fine, if she digs in and gets offended and tries to play similar fucked up games, then you might want to consider getting out before things escalate.
I think the crux of it will be, would she respect OP's refusal to have that kind of power over her, and would she expect some sort of reciprocal act for some MAD outcome.
I'd wonder where she got ideas like that and find out if it's an integral part of her life.
Obligatory "this some young people shit".
Young people do and say stupid shit to come off as edgy and the vast majority of them don't actually mean it and regret it later in life.
As to your question, that's why you date people, to see if they're good, for you and otherwise. You don't go "red flag!" -> napalm!!!, you evaluate contexts and repeat occurrences of perceived wrongs.
Sure, but this is also a weird miscommunication. Why do this crazy trust exercise when you can instead have honest conversations? This sounds like the relationship is going to be based on proving yourself to the other instead of genuinely getting to know them.
If I received this, I'd show them me deleting it from all my devices and ask them to never do anything like that again, because you never know what could be exposed in a breach. I'd also tell them if any of that was genuine, we would need to end the relationship.
.....and then recover the deleted file.
That being said, it's a huge red flag and you don't need a repeat occurrence to end the relationship.
ummmm....
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