this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 hours ago

They should run actual left wing articles but write them to sound like right wing conspiracies. Like, politicians say raising trans kids is child abuse? THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CALL YOUR OWN KIDS!!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago

The Onion out here reminding me that there are still good people in this world (outside of my boyfriends, family and friends)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Guess InfoWars will begin publishing more factual articles, then.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago

A sort of justice served... In a funny and positive way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I need an explanation of Infowars. I'm guessing it's something that really needs made fun of.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago

It absolutely is. It's basically a ragebait propaganda machine.

Well, it was.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 hours ago

Lmao no fucking way. That’s hilarious

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 hours ago

This is so unreasonably fantastic hahaha

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 hours ago

Goddamn, I was sure I ate the onion on this one.

This is probably the best possible outcome.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

I need to know that Dan and Jordan will get access to the desk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago

At least their fables are obvious

[–] [email protected] 42 points 13 hours ago

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

are they gonna post info about wars?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

Just like all the information on onions they put out last decade and a half

[–] [email protected] 107 points 13 hours ago

As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO's life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWarswarehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (2 children)

I hope they didn't pay more than a sack of onions.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

i would give each of them 1 billion dollars

[–] [email protected] 31 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I hope it's a lot. The money here is going to the families of Sandy Hook victims. There isn't nearly enough to cover the full court ordered payout, but it's essentially a donation to them with extra steps.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I know, but why should someone other than Jones pay up? He has obviously put aside a lot of money that is due to those affected - he will make even more in the next trump turn. If he gets away with that and shows that it's worthwhile to run a business as immoral as his, others will do exactly the same.

Edit: nvm, I forgot that Trump still owes the state of New York half a billion dollars for massive financial fraud that he will never pay because the US citizens elected him the next president. Well, too bad the US legal system doesn't prosecute anyone personally - especially not with criminal charges. Sorry, I always wrongly assume that the US has a semi-functioning legal system. My bad.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 12 hours ago

Apparently, the familes actually agreed to a lower price on this one.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-onion-buys-alex-jones-infowars-auction-sandy-hook-families/

"The Connecticut families agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of The Onion's bid, enabling its success," according to the statement.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron

Eee! They named the parent company after the evil corporation parent company in The Onion Movie! That makes me unreasonably happy! 😂🥰

[–] [email protected] 25 points 13 hours ago

It was originally created for the satire book Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source

This is some next level meta.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 14 hours ago

After some pretty grim shit for weeks on end this is some decent uplifting news.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Is this real life?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

Are we being punk’d?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Watching the republicans cry on Twitter is the best part about this

They're all saying it's the Democrats trying to silence the truth and how they are knocking at his door trying to take his business and how it's unfair

[–] [email protected] 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I had hope that the onion would buy infowars and just post all factual news about the presidents antics on info wars and keep the onion satire. But then I realized that would be too good.🤞🏼

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

That and The Onion could never outperform info wars in terms of absurdity... Still...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 15 hours ago

Hello, Based department?

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