Exactly, red has way more up-quarks than blue

Ur mom could suck it through

This person sciences good

I love it when scientists who know something to be true in theory get to see practical experiments like this. The jubilation on thier faces.

The difference in relative acceleration implied by the meme is on the order of tens of yoctometres (10⁻²³ m) per second per second.

It's a difference so small that it would be overshadowed by the fact that you're holding one object femtometres (10⁻¹⁵ m) higher or lower than the other in the gravitational field.

Additional sources of error to consider at this scale might be the heat radiation from the surroundings providing radiation pressure on the object, the sloshing of Earth's core causing time-dependent variations in the gravitational field, the location-dependent variations in the Earth's gravitational field, and the difference in centrifugal (yes, centrifugal in this reference frame) force due to latitude differences of one micrometre, and also due to natural variations in the rate of Earth's rotation over time.

When you carry a ton of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds...

That's a trick question. Feathers have lower density than bowling balls; a ton of feathers would have a larger volume compared to the same mass in bowling ball, thus the feathers are heavier