this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
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A friend/coworker of mine and his wife hosted a weekly boardgame night that I attended. Most of the other guests were kinda flaky, and this one particular day, I was the only one who showed up. So it was just me, my friend, and his wife.

Someone suggested Dixit, which I had never played before, but it sounded fun and I was down to play. So we broke it out, shuffled, and started the game.

Now, if you don't know how Dixit works, it's basically a deck of cards with pictures on them. One of a toy abacus. Another of a child pointing a toy sword at a dragon. Another of a winding staircase with a snail at the bottom. Etc.

In one version of the game similar to Apples to Apples or Scategories, everyone gets a hand of cards which they keep hidden. The dealer announces a clue and everyone (including the dealer) contributes a card from their hands face-down to the center of the table and the dealer shuffles them together and reveals them all at once without revealing whose card is whose. Then players vote which one they think matches the clue. You get points as a player if others vote for your card or if you vote for the one the dealer picked. As a dealer, you get points if close to 50% of the players vote for yours.

I was the dealer this round. One of the cards in my hand was of a ship's anchor. That's when it came to me.

See, the friend/coworker and I both worked in web software development. His wife didn't. And I came up with the perfect play. I gave the clue "hyperlink." Hyperlinks on web pages are created using the HTML <a> tag. The "a" stands for "anchor." And any web developer would know that.

When the vote came in, I got one vote for my card from my friend and his wife failed to select the correct card and so didn't get any points. It was a slam dunk move. But I felt a little bad for excluding my friend's wife from an inside-knowledge thing.

The next round, my friend was the dealer and he picked a rule/card that was an inside-knowledge thing between the two of them. (A line from a poem they both knew well, the next line of which related to the picture of the card.) So I was glad of that.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago

Half of the time I play EDH.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, the first time I played Magic the Gathering with a friend's husband was in a 4 player Commander game. I had let kept less aggressive and made it look like I wasn't too much of a threat, all the while holding a combo that could deal quite a few points of damage, but would sacrifice a lot to do it. I waited until just the right moment, the turn before I was about to be defeated by the last standing player who was doing really well. And I won. 😁

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I had let kept less aggressive

You seem to have an autocorrect disease, please seek treatment before brains are broken and you can no longer be understood.

(Meant to be funny)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah I switched to a new keyboard app. Seems like it needs some tweaking. Lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

As long as the new keyboard app doesnt need twerking...that would be a very weird app

[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago

This is why I lose in Magic the Gathering so much. I'll be like "wow what a combo, I could go on but this is mean enough." And then two turns later I lose to a mean combo. I don't think it's actually mean, the goal is to win. I just think it can be more fun to not have huge plays, even if that results in more losses.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 15 hours ago

Locking people's meeples forever in Carcassone by creating unplayable holes in the map is what does it for me

[–] [email protected] 4 points 16 hours ago

C&C Red Alert, I played red, friend played blue. I spent loads on tesla coils, which I kept in the rear of my base. He found my base, did not get near enough to see the coils before my guards killed his scout, and returned with an army, expecting the camp to be nearly undefended. His complete army got roasted by the tesla coils.

Next turn, he was red and I was blue. He tried to copy my tactic, but I came from the rear with a small unit and killed two of his power stations, disabling his power grid. No power, no tesla coils...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

The first time I played Scrabble was with an old university friend and his wife. They both fancied themselves expert Scrabble players. Both bright and talented folks and lovely people. I won the game and the last word I played was DILDO.

I have never again played Scrabble again since I figured I could never top that. Also they never asked me to play with them again either.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I used to play a naval tabletop warfare game called Seekrieg with a group of friends; usually 8 to 10 people participating. It was basically a WW2 sim; the group would split into "fleets" of Axis, Allied, French Forces, whatever the scenario called for and then face off. Each player controlled a ship in a fleet.

The game was played with miniature ships on a large table (or the floor if the engagement was large enough). One fleet would move their ships, then the other fleet would do the same. Once moves were finished each player wrote down what guns were firing and what target(s) they were being fired at. It's important to note that ships had movement rules based on the type of ship. They could only turn a certain amount in degrees, and only reach certain speeds based on their maneuvers; they'd lose a certain amount of speed in turns, had max speeds, etc.

There were two official methods for playing the game: First was the "statistical" method, where each ship had certain bonuses and hindrances based on historical data, and dice rolls would determine if the ship was successful in hitting their targets. This was the option for "serious biz" players. The other method was much better suited to our group (drinking beer and bullshitting style) and was known as "range estimation." In this method, players would pick a target and visually estimate the range to that target in inches. When firing was resolved, the actual distance would be measured and hits determined. Players estimated to the 1/2 inch and could hit to the 1/4 inch (ex; if the player guessed 30" range and the ship was actually at 30.25", it would still hit).

Well, during this time I had been working on my degree and had gone most of the way through college trigonometry. The functions and identities were all fresh in my head. We came together one night for a game and as we were setting up I thought I could probably use my newfound skills to get the range estimation down pat. I was given a light cruiser with 8" guns. One of my opponents, who often made terrible mistakes in the game, was given a heavy cruiser with fewer guns, but bigger nastier 12 inchers.

We started the game and the first round closed distance. He outranged me and fired before I could, but missed. Second round I fired a huge spread at his ship, just to range him out (I should note that the actual range is called out when your estimate is checked if you're within 1/2 inch). So I fired at 30", 31", 32" etc., but in doing so learned the true range to his ship. For round three I wrote down his ship's turn angles and distances, noted mine, and then calculated the new distance. I fired all guns at his ship on this range; every single shell hit as I had dialed it in exactly. His ship took massive damage and was crippled. Repeat for round 4 and he was sunk. I repeated the performance against other players (though some of them were a bit tricksier in their maneuvers so it wasn't quite as brutal), but our fleet carried the match without a loss.

Everyone took it in stride, but it also kinda dampened the game. I decided not to do it again since it really kinda shit on the fun factor we were playing for.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

This game sounds awesome

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Yeah. this was in high school, in my math class, and we were playing a math game.

The way it worked, was that every table was a team, and each team had a "castle" drawn up onto the whiteboard. A random spinner was used to determine a team, who would then solve a problem the teacher assigned. If you successfully solved the problem, you could draw an X on another teams castle. 3 X's mean that you are out.

My team was out. But, since this was a class, we could still solve problems, and still draw X's. Our table got selected to solve a problem, and I did successfully. I looked at the board, and realized that only two teams had a single X, every other team had either two or three. In other words, I could choose who won the game, even though I could not win.

So, I started trying to get bids. I tried to get real money, but someone tried to scam me with some "draw the X first" nonsense. But, the other team offered to pay me four of the school's fake money, and I accepted that and allowed them to win.

I may not have won the game, but I certainly felt victorious that day.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

I used to play a LAN game. Run around exploring a dungeon, find treasures, weapons, etc. and use them to whack on other players. One of the things you could find was a magic feather that let you walk through walls when wielded. Useful but not too powerful since it was expended with use. After about 15 minutes, if nobody had won, the game went into Armageddon mode by teleporting everyone to a small hostile room to cage match until only one survived. So I used the feather then and hopped into the wall. I could still hit and be hit by adjacent players, but was immune from all the environmental hazards that only existed inside the room.

Next game we played had a house rule to not do that anymore.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I think I'm about to take liberties with the term "strategic play." But I'll tell this regardless.

I have a friend who is only hyper competitive when playing games, especially board games. In the moment, he wants to win so badly that he will do anything to win. He manipulates, gaslights, he's dangerously intelligent and he's good at making it seem like he's just playing casually. And then once the game is over? He doesn't care at all whether he won or lost. It's infuriating sometimes.

Thanks to also being an extremely competitive person, I saw through it pretty quickly the first few games I ever played with him. But nobody else does. It seemed like nobody ever tried to win by comparison. So when he and I are in the same game, I know I'm going to lose. And he'll use the other people at the table even if I can see it happening. Even if I made comments about it mid-game, nobody would believe me.

So I got petty. I couldn't beat him at the manipulation game. Instead, I turned him into a meme. When he ever looked like he was behind, and someone noticed, I'd say in a light-hearted conspiratorial way, "[his name] is always ahead." Repeated it whenever he would take the lead and eventually when he won the game. "You see? [His name] is always ahead."

It caught like wildfire. Our other friends started using the catchphrase, even in games where I wasn't there. People started using attack cards on him more often. They'd be less friendly with him about trading. People would snub him even when he was so far behind there was no catching up. The day I realized how much it got to him, was one day he told me how much that phrase impacted his ability to play games with friends. It ruined a lot of his fun. Sometimes new friends who didn't even play with us that often would use it. I didn't realize how much damage it caused. All I wanted was for people to be more wary of his manipulation tactics. But instead I took something fun from a good friend and made it miserable.

So I haven't said it for years since. But our other friends still remember and will say the phrase from time to time. He's always ahead.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This reminds me of a game of Bang where I was the manipulative player. It's a hidden role game, except that the sheriff role is not hidden. The deputy, renegades, outlaws, etc were all hidden roles. The sheriff and deputy win if the outlaws all lose (get shot enough times to be out of the game). The outlaws win if the deputy and sheriff both lose. (I don't remember specifically the rules of the renegades.) Depending how may players you have, you'll have different numbers of outlaws and renegades, but there's always one sheriff and one deputy. But everybody knows how many of each there are even if they don't know who is what role.

I was an outlaw this game. And I basically just kept telling the sheriff that I was the deputy. One by one, all the other players fell, each at my insistence they'd said something suspicious and had to be an outlaw. (Basically, convincing the sheriff to start shooting a particular player is a death sentence for that player.) When only three players (the sheriff, me (an outlaw), and the deputy) remained I just kept telling the sheriff I was the deputy and trading shots with the real deputy. Eventually, the sheriff sided with me and started shooting the deputy, thinking (at my insistence) he was an outlaw.

When someone dies, they're allowed to show their role card, so the jig was up when he died. Then it was just a grueling game of the sheriff and I trading shots until one of us was unlucky enough times to take the hit that our health went to zero. I eventually won, but it took forever.

After the deputy died, he admitted that he had suspected something had gone wrong in the shuffling/dealing of role cards and somehow we'd ended up with two deputies. I was apparently that convincing.

That was the day I learned of my talent for manipulation.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

So I got petty. I couldn't beat him at the manipulation game.

Well this clearly isn't true, you just work more slowly

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

This is an excellent example to pull if you ever want to talk about memetic warfare as a concept.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

I used to play 1v1 Ticket to Ride matches against my wife using the app.

As background: I’m not a very competitive gamer, but I’m decent at problem solving. When I first learned TtR, I played with fairly … great players. One of my friends was (is?) nationally ranked. They routinely beat the ever-loving crap out of me. I think of the dozens of games we’ve played, I have won maybe 10-20% of the time?

My wife isn’t bad at TtR, but she doesn’t see things the same way in terms of strategy.

We had this one game where I drew a bunch of short routes all over the map, which blocked her early in the game, and a series of lucky route draws lead me to connect them, inadvertently blocking her at least twice, including on the last play, where I was just dumping cars to end the game.

She was always a little upset when I beat her, but this time the discrepancy was so bad and she was so upset. I just stopped playing Ticket to Ride - like, at all.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sooo my room mate invited me to play Total War Warhammer 2 with him (RTS game based on fantasy warhammer). It was his all time favorite game, and I had played it a bit. Think 2k hours for him, 100ish for me. But I had mostly been playing the Vampire Counts, and he jumped around a lot, mostly playing the Empire as he loved their lore and how they played. Him picking the empire was kind of a dick move because they spawned very close to vampire counts, so odds were he was going to crush me mid game.

But the thing is, he had mostly played against AI, and he had never played AS the vampire counts. If you ever play as the vampire counts in that game, you quickly realize there is only one good strategy, one that the AI never uses. You can get completely free skeleton soldiers. The game normally hard caps you with negatives around 2k soldiers (2-3 full armies). They aren't great soldiers, but you can do upgrades for them to make them acceptable, and they mostly will function as meat sponges to bog down enemies while your generals do most of the killing. It's not something I looked up, it's just super obvious when you play as them that there is no purpose to any other units.

On turn 25 he thought something was wrong when he saw 5 armies attack a neighbor of his. He knew something was terribly wrong when 10 entered his territory at a point in the game when he had 2 1/2. There was shouting, there were accusations, there was mad giggling. As my room mate was thrusted full force into the zombie apocalypse. His soldiers killed thousands of skeletons, early game heavy infantry backed by mortars and arbalesters. The K/D was terrible for me. He had been focusing on building the bones of an unstoppable late gate death ball of heavy infantry and artillery, so his units were strong. But it still needed 30 turns to be invincible. But I kept winning, because his units ran out of bullets and mortar shells before I ran out of skeletons.

Then the fun thing about Vampire counts is, if you win a MASSIVE battle with tens of thousands of deaths... you can instantly recruit skeletons from that grave site! With each battle my army replenished, my generals grew more powerful, and he grew more annoyed.

After another bloody defeat of his final army, killing like 7k skeletons just to see mine raise from the dead, and his capital under siege, he resigned.

Despite his thousands of hours he said it was equally the most fun and most tilting game ever. But I just felt like I was playing lore accurate necromancers :D But when he was like "You must be cheating the game must stop this some how" and I'm just like... nah fam, game busted. I did feel a little bad. Then went back to giggling when he insisted he could win and then all his units ran out of ammo again.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

When your own soldiers come back to attack you: "Stop hitting yourself"

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