Asklemmy

Chickpea tuna salad. Drain a can of chickpeas, then mix with a can of tuna (drained, if it's packed in water), some olive oil, red wine vinegar, and salt. I add diced raw onion if I'm not too tired.

Microwaved pepperoni chips.

Put pepperoni on a plate with some paper towels, microwave for one minute. The apartment will smell either heavenly or sickening for the next hour, depending on how much you like pepperoni.

Works with any sliced sausage really

Sometimes I slice some red Leicester cheese on a small plate and microwave it for around 30 seconds, until it melts. Then I eat it with a teaspoon. I first had it when I was desperately hungry but that cheese was literally the only food I had in, and I liked it enough I did it again. (Red Leicester cheese is like cheddar, but it tends to have a distinctly nutty flavour to it).

I used to have chives growing on the windowsill and it always tickled me to sprinkle some chopped chives over the cheese puddle, because a chive garnish feels very fancy but this "meal" was incredibly trashy.

Those sweet potatoes are close to Grandma Appalachia's traditional preparation that she got from a recipe her Irish aunt tore out of a magazine back in the 70s, but hers included a hoppy beer to balance the hot sauce

Mine would probably be my ghetto breakfast sandwiches. I usually throw a little shredded cheese, diced onion, and hot peppers into a coffee mug and crack and egg into it and then scramble it. Microwave that for a min while i toast an English muffin or bagel. Then put it together with maybe a thin slice of ham. Excellent breakfast sandwich. People think I'm nuts for making the eggs in a microwave, but it works well, has an easy cleanup, and is super quick in the mornings before work.

It's bending the rules, since it's a camping meal, but I have made it at home, too, since it makes a great depression meal. I got it from backpackers, who I'm pretty sure got it from prison inmates:

The Ramen Bomb.

Cook a crushed up packet of instant ramen noodles, maybe with a little more water than usual. Add like half a packet of instant mashed potatoes. You can also add a protein, like... chopped up Spam. Maybe some hot sauce or other fixings if you're feeling fancy.

I hated how much I enjoyed it. Granted, that was when I was really tired and hungry, but that hit the spot.

Also, I've heard meals like the ones in this thread affectionately referred to as "glop," by a fellow glop-enjoyer.

Another delicious hit - chocolate sandwiches!

Two slices of white bread, fill sandwich generously with hot chocolate mix. Deliciously dry and chocolatey.

Garlic butter spread over bread (alentejano bread has a tiny bit of olive oil and it's preferred but it's the bread that's at hand, white form toast bread usually), toasted with filling of green olives, mushroom, dried tomato and peanut butter.

It's all preserved stuff so it's back up when you don't have fresh things and the sweet of the peanut butter ties in with the olives quite nicely, I only like black oxidated olives otherwise.

a rice cooker filled with lentils and nuts and other types of bird food. no seasoning or salt. brown rice.

a smoothie with raw kale/spinnach, broccoli, spirulina, a banana, almond milk. looks dark green.

actually, ive changed my mind. i would try to get someone to eat this.

Instant sugar-free chocolate pudding made with Greek yogurt instead of milk, added de-fatted peanut powder and chocolate whey protein (unflavored would work better, TBH), and with peanuts, raw rolled oats, and sliced bananas.

It's a great meal when you're done at the gym and utterly exhausted by the prospect of making real food. It's high protein, no added sugars, and high in fiber. If you squint, it's almost healthy.

Lutefisk. Served with heavy cream and melted butter. And Potato Klub as a side.

I leave it the reader to google it - if they dare.