this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] sag@lemm.ee 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Dark Souls

Have white souls in it

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 months ago

Dead Space

You are alive and fight in claustrophobic environments.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

EVE Online: humanity’s distant future

Halo: “Run! It’s the demon!”

Mario Kart: drive around as Bowser

Call of Duty: skip work to play

Overwatch: small ground troop battles on city streets

Battlefield: Hardline: use signal jammers to disrupt enemy radio comms

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[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They call it halflife because Gordon is middle aged

[–] Rokin@lemm.ee 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ya, but look at what he does at his job. He'll be lucky to make it to 54.

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[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You know what, shout out to Concord here. The official definition of a concord:

agreement or harmony between people or groups.

Everyone did in fact agree not to play the game.

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[–] bollybing@lemmynsfw.com 30 points 3 months ago

Killing floor

Scenery is non-destructible

Black Mesa

All the mesas are actually brown

Max Payne 2:The Fall of Max Payne

Actually he does fall over a lot in this game

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

half life could just be using phone battery rules. even if your total phone battery capacity is 80% it's original capacity, it still lets you charge it to "100%", its just that you've charged it to 100% of that 80%.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 89 points 3 months ago (6 children)

No Man's Sky

Obviously I am up here

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 45 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

"Oh, Trans' Sky"

[–] AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca 34 points 3 months ago

Assigned female at purchase

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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Half Life is an accurate title. During normal playthroughs it’s rare to have more than 50hp.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

That depends on implementing the proper impulse for the onehunderdandfirst time

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 61 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

>Battlefield 4

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield


>Pokémon Yellow

>Has other colors

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 21 points 3 months ago

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield

Also:

> Is at least the sixth game in the Battlefield franchise, with the most generous possible interpretation of what counts as a mainline game.

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 43 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Wolfenstein 3D, Duke Nukem 3D

2.5D engines. 😏

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Rounding up on .5 is the most common method of rounding!

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 78 points 3 months ago (7 children)

> Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

> Not a single vice to be found


> House Flipper

> All houses are orientated normally


> Untitled Goose Game

> Has title


> Octodad

> Absolutely not a single octopus in the game whatsoever


> Golf With Your Friends

> No friends.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 2 points 3 months ago (3 children)

With Octodad joke, are you implying that you didn't see through the disguise? If so, I don't think it fits with the rest and is confusing, tbh.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not so much that I didn't see through the disguise, more that the running joke of the game is that nobody else sees it other than the chef.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 1 points 3 months ago (4 children)

That's what I meant, you're making the joke from the perspective of a person that doesn't realize there's an octopus in the game, even though there is one.

And the reason I said it's confusing is because the game title is only perceived by the player of the game, and the player is explicitly told/shown that you're playing as an octopus. So the perspective used in the joke is impossible, but I understand that I'm being pedantic, feel free to ignore my ramblings caused by the uncontrollable urge to point out the inconsistency.

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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was thinking Vice City, no vices?? But I think I get what sort of vice you mean now

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

For anyone else who still doesn't understand!

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Infinite Wealth

Never have enough money.

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 106 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

> Final Fantasy
> For the 16th fucking time

Compare that to:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the final boss

[–] Dungrad@feddit.org 50 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

Only initial strikes

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[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 132 points 3 months ago (1 children)

DOOM Eternal

game eventually ends

[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 77 points 3 months ago (2 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

They were probably referring to the development time.

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 57 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

See also: BioShock: Infinite.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

And Katamari Forever

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